You never thought it would come to this, but the worst has happened. You and your boyfriend broke up. And if that wasn’t bad enough, you’re left wondering why men give silent treatment after a breakup. I mean, is it really so necessary?
Even though you left things on friendly terms and you agreed to stay in touch, your ex is nowhere to be found. You've tried to contact him, you've called and sent a couple of texts to see how's doing but all you got in return was radio silence.
Understanding men is never easy but there several reasons why men give silent treatment after a breakup. Here's what could be going on in his head.
He's dealing with pain in his own way.
In this situation, your mind will start running wild. You'll probably even get to the point where you think that he never even cared about you. You are hurt and confused and you miss him, so how can he be so heartless to ignore your texts and calls?
Well, one of the most common scenarios is that this is just his way of dealing with the breakup. It doesn't mean he's indifferent; just the opposite. He is just as hurt as you, but he needs time and space to get over the breakup. Maybe you're ready to be friends, but he's not.
In this case, try to respect his pain and give him the space he needs. After some time, if he still wants you in his life, he'll reach out to you.
He's too proud to admit he misses you.
Some men never let their feelings rule them and they would never swallow their pride and show vulnerability. If this sounds like your ex, then he may just be too proud to admit he misses you.
This is more likely if you broke up with him. You already hurt his pride regardless of why you did it and he probably agreed to stay friends just to save face.
Once the dust settled, he realized that he needed to keep his distance from you so he wouldn't cave and tell you how much he misses you. He still cares, but his attitude probably won't change soon.
If you want to stay in touch with this kind of man, you'll have to give him plenty of time. This is where the no contact rule can be very helpful.
He's taking revenge.
If you were the one who messed up or broke up, he could be giving you silent treatment to get back at you. And the more you messed up, the bigger the chance this is exactly what's going on right now.
Your course of action depends on whether or not you want to make up.
If you regret your mistake and want to give your relationship a second chance, you'll need to have a game plan to apologize and show him how much you actually care about him.
But if you're the one who initiated the breakup and you have no intention of getting back together, maybe it's time to let it go. Insisting on a friendship is selfish and will only hurt him more.
He doesn't want to get your hopes up.
He may look like a monster in your eyes for suddenly giving you silent treatment after all those happy moments you shared, but he might actually be doing it for your own good.
As long as you still have feelings for him and you stay in touch, there is that slight glimmer of hope that you'll somehow end up together again. He wants to eliminate that hope but not because he's a bad person but because he cares about you and doesn't want to hurt you.
Although he's doing it for the right reasons, this is a very painful situation because it also means he's ready to move on and wants you to move on, too. The best you can do is learn how to get over him even if you still love him.
He wants a clean slate.
I know you don't want to hear this but this is one of the more obvious reasons why men give silent treatment after a breakup. The relationship ended and this guy simply doesn't want you in his life anymore.
He doesn't see this as silent treatment at all. You broke up, he knows it's over and there's no point in keeping in touch anymore.
A lot of men have a very simple approach to breakups: they accept it's over and want to move on with a clean slate. Unfortunately for us, keeping in touch with the ex is not part of that plan.
He's ghosting you.
You thought everything was going fine and then after one small argument, he disappears. This is not just another breakup. It seems like you're a victim of ghosting.
There's no sugarcoating the situation. He's obviously a jerk who's done with your relationship and doesn't even have the courtesy to let you know what's up.
If you suspect you're dealing with a douche like that, just let it go and move on. I know you're probably tempted to send him a message (or better yet, an essay) to put him in his place and show him he's making a huge mistake. But you'll get much better results by ignoring him back.
Trust me, you dodged a bullet with this guy, so get out there and enjoy life. That's the best way to show him what he's missing.
As you can see, there are numerous reasons why men give silent treatment after a breakup, from saving face to trying to avoid hurting you. This is nothing strange and it's not a cause for alarm.
You just need to assess the situation and ask yourself why you want to keep in touch with him. Do you really want to stay friends because you love him as a person or are you secretly trying to make up?
The answer to your question will help you deal with the situation better and help you decide what to do next.