Relationships are the foundation of human existence. Being social animals,we as humans, are addicted to social interactions and relationships in the world.
Let it be the college, workplace or even a grocery store where you spent more than 30 minutes doing groceries, you’ll catch up on some relationships.
Not all those relationships are that strong, but at the very least, those are relationships. One such relationship we come across in our life is our life partner. That is a relationship not built because you bought something cool for your partner or child, like dollhouses for adults, or because you took them out for shopping once. It’s a relationship built purely on love, respect and trust.
Your life partner (aka your spouse) plays the most significant role in your life, more than any other relationship. It’s not just a philosophical concept anymore.
Plenty of studies and research have proved that the benefits of a loving relationship are enormous, both for our physical and mental health.
Despite being one of the most valuable, and in most cases, the strongest relationship a human being experiences, there are still occasions where the strength of these relationships fell short.
There are multiple factors that contribute to a relationship being destroyed but the mishandling starts from arguments generally.
Let’s have a look at some of the ways arguments break down the unity in a relationship.
1. Arguments with your partner create resistance
Arguments are the best source of bringing friction to your relationship. This is exactly why you feel somewhat of a negative energy when indulging into an argument with your partner. The resistance that is formed as a result of constant arguments comes with two big disadvantages.
One is the idea of fighting too much. If you engage in arguments almost every other day, you’d have to change this behavior, otherwise, it will be the biggest consumption of your energy and time throughout the day.
The second issue is the idea of arguing over meaningless topics. This is again a factor that is triggered when you and your partner argue progressively more. Soon you’ll find yourself arguing just for the sake of arguing, resulting in fights over meaningless things.
2. Develops an emotional gap
Just like any other relationship in the world, the bonding between you and your partner is based on the strength of your emotional connection. As soon as this connection weakens or breaks you’ll experience weakness in your relationship’s strength as well.
Arguments are the biggest driver of creating an emotional gap in your relationships. If you want to know how it creates the gap exactly, we’d have to draw a correlation with what we discussed above.
Let’s say you and your partner start arguing day in and day out, this means soon your arguments will be over useless topics and these arguments will cover most of your time spent together. Thus there will be this negative energy associated automatically with all the time you two spend together. This is where emotions are sidelined and the relationship starts to lose its meaning.
3. Arguments Impact the children badly
This of course, comes as one of the most obvious impacts arguments could have on a relationship. Children are not only considered a blessing for the parents but also a key driver of their mutual relationship.
Children connect both the partners as a single unit working as a bridge. Your kids are significantly important to you as parents as well as partners in your own relationship.
However, heated arguments among husband and wife often have the worst impact on the children. Some of these effects are:
- Sleep disturbance/deprivation
- Disruption in the brain development
- Anxiety and depression
- Poor academic performance
This means that your augments can also shake your children’s mental and physical health, thus putting their own selves along with your relationship at risk.
4. Constant Arguing Puts your own mental health at risk
It’s important to note that your arguments with your spouse or partner can have toxic effects on your own mental state as well. This can happen either way; from boyfriend/husband to the girlfriend/wife or the other way around. Mental health isn’t a gender’s game and is worth everything to be taken seriously.
The same challenges your child could face mentally from being exposed to heated and frustrating arguments, can be the challenges that you face too. This includes;
- Feeling anxious
- Feeling depressed
- Feeling annoyed
- Feeling a sense of fear
- Being insecure
It’s vital to note that if either one of you two (the partners in the relationship) are upset mentally, you’ll not be able to keep up with the relationship even if you were completely fit. So not indulging your partner in practices (unnecessary arguments) can be a lifesaver for your mutual relationship.
5. Other parts of your life suffer greatly
As said before, human beings are social animals, having their entire existence based upon relationships with people. Ultimately an adult has what we call a network of relationships from people as well as things. This network of relationships stays coherent as long as the pool of relationships as a whole stays stable.
For example, if we talk about your work and your love life – these are two very different sections of your life as a whole and apparently not so connected either. However, if you disrupt one of these, the other one will be impacted automatically.
Let’s say you and your partner have a heated argument on a random morning. You packed the argument up and left for work. Now, can you work peacefully? Of course not. Your mind is still stuck thinking how you could’ve done a better job arguing your wife. That’s how your life as a whole suffers because of the lack of productive argument handling in you.
We’ve had a detailed look at how arguments destroy a relationship, as it impacts your whole life negatively. However, one important disclaimer in this regard is the fact that not all disagreements are arguments to be avoided.
You and your partner can disagree on anything you want. In fact in most cases the couple happens to disagree on a lot of stuff, even if their relationship is massively strong.
What comes under “useless arguments” is the fact that you let your ego enter into your relationship, and your relationship starts losing its meaning in the first place.
Communicate your feelings with your partner and talk through it in a calm and collective manner. Most little things that cause silly but intense arguments can be easily fixed… You know that too well.
Best of luck!