When your ex texts you it can be a good or a downright awful thing.
Depending on how you left things, you may be thrilled to hear from him or you could want to throw your phone across the room in the hopes of it breaking so you don’t have to deal with it.
That being said, knowing how to respond when your ex texts you, no matter the situation, is extremely important.
Do you want to get back together or do you wish he’d leave you alone forever?
Determining how you feel first can help you figure out what you should respond with.
Here are our best tips for responding when your ex texts you depending on your specific situation.
How to Respond if it Ended Badly & They Ended it
So your breakup was awful. They broke your heart or cheated on you or otherwise made you feel like crap when they left.
That can be really frustrating and knowing what to say can be really hard.
You’re hurt. You’re angry. Responding in either of those moods is probably not the best idea, however.
He’ll give his heart to the first woman who does this...
Download my free report and find out how to get any man - even the biggest commitment phobe - to commit to you in just 7 easy steps.
Here’s what you should do instead.
1. Ignore him
That’s right. If you broke up and things ended horribly, why would you want that back in your life? Just don’t even text him back.
There’s nothing good that’ll come from him reaching out to you again. If anything, you’ll just get hurt all over again.
So if you can, just hit that “delete” button and move on with your day.
2. Ask who it is
Even if you know it’s him, this is still always fun. It’ll allow you to bite back at him a little bit and that small amount of revenge can be worth it.
Basically, you’re telling him how insignificant he is and that you didn’t really care enough to keep his number.
It’ll be both funny and satisfying.
3. Tell him you’re busy and can’t talk
This is basically a dis on him and, boy, is it a good one. You’re telling him you don’t have time for him in your life.
So go ahead and just say, “Busy. Can’t talk.” Then leave it at that.
There’s no need to elaborate or even text him back after that.
4. Tell him you don’t want to talk
Instead of avoiding chatting, just be honest and tell him you don’t want to talk.
He should understand why and if he doesn’t, that’s on him. Just tell him you’re done and don’t have anything to say.
Then ignore anything else he tries to say.
5. Send “lol” and that’s it
If you want to make him sweat and even embarrass him a little bit, send this.
It might seem silly and a little immature but it’s actually perfect. You’ll be telling him that you find him talking to you so comical you can’t do anything but laugh.
Leave it at that and don’t say anything else or respond further.
How to Respond if You Still Have Feelings
So you broke up but you still have some feelings left for him. This can be the hardest thing because you might not know what he wants.
Does he want to get back together? Does he just want to say hi?
Here’s how to respond in this situation.
1. Be kind
You never know what he wants. Being kind is a fantastic way to respond if you want to get him back eventually.
Just be excited that he’s reaching out and talking to you. Show him that you’re happy about the conversation but don’t seem too eager.
Keep it simple and playful.
2. Ask him what’s new
It’s always good to start a real conversation if you still have feelings and are hoping you two can get back together.
Not only does it show him there are no hurt feelings, but it opens the door to actually talking about things.
Just be prepared that what’s new might be him having someone else and just wanting to talk.
3. Bring up an old, happy memory
If you still care about him and want to rekindle something, bring up a fun and happy memory of the two of you.
Reminding him of the good times can help him see that you two still belong together.
Obviously, you don’t have to bring this up right away. Let the conversation drift to the past and then talk about it.
Make him miss and want you.
How to Respond if it Ended Well but You’re Over Him
This is really the best situation you can be in because there aren’t any hurt feelings. In fact, you may feel happy about him reaching out.
That being said, you can respond however you’d like and it would probably go over well. Just try one of these if you’re not sure what to say.
1. Catch up on life
Just chat. There’s a reason he’s reaching out to you but don’t concern yourself with that right away.
Ask about what he’s been up to and how his life is right now.
Treat him like a friend because if there aren’t any hurt feelings – or there aren’t any feelings at all – that’s all he really is to you.
2. Ask what he needs
If you’re truly curious, just ask. He may not need anything. He could have just been reminded of you in some way and wanted to see what’s going on in your life.
Diving into this question can help you understand where his mind is at.
You never know. He could want to get back together and if that’s not on your agenda, you’ll be able to get rid of him quickly.
3. Wish him well
Once your discussion is over, wish him well in life.
You don’t want anything bad for him and this is the perfect way to end a conversation abruptly while also making sure you both stay on good terms.
No matter what he wants, this is a positive way to leave things.
It can be really difficult knowing what to say when your ex texts you.
After being apart for a while, you might want to either throw a fit or beg for him back – both of which aren’t the best idea.
These tips can save you from making a fool of yourself.
And make sure you check out the Ex Factor Guide for more info on how to deal with your ex, and win him back, or put him in the rear view mirror for good.