Online dating is tough. Without having some tips for online dating conversations, you might end up ruining something before it has the chance to be great.
And that would be unfortunate for everyone involved.
The thing about online dating is that there’s too much time to craft what you want to say.
Sure, that can be great for those of us who usually put our foot in our mouth but it also takes some authenticity out of the discussion.
It then becomes something that’s crafted so much that the other person can’t even get a feel for who you really are.
That’s never a good thing in the online dating world.
If you’re looking to get started but are afraid you’ll mess up the conversation when someone reaches out, I have some great tips for online dating conversations that’ll not only make them seem genuine, but will also show him who you really are.
1. Stop trying to sound so proper
Most of us want to impress the person we’re talking to. That’s kind of the entire point of online dating.
The thing is, it never comes out as intended. Most of the time, it makes you sound stiff and boring and not like someone a man will want to get to know more.
The bigger words you use and the more complex sentences you make, the further you’re getting from authenticity.
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Just stop focusing on being proper and official. Just talk.
2. Type how you talk
This will help with stopping yourself from sounding overly official. However, it’s not a very easy skill to master if you’re not used to typing the way you actually speak.
One of the great things about most cell phones having “talk to text” applications is that you can actually talk into your phone.
This usually helps your end result sound more like you and less like a computer pushing out words in stiff sentences. Plus, talking how you speak will also help you naturally bring up things to talk about.
3. Let your personality come out
I know it’s hard. Online dating is just as nerve-racking as it is in real life. Because of that, it’s hard to show someone your personality.
Not to mention the fact that you probably really want that guy to like you. You might hold back a little because you’re not sure where he stands on certain subjects or even what his sense of humor is.
But the entire point of dating is to let someone fall for the real you. That means you have to stop overthinking everything and respond to his comments and questions as if it was just a friend asking.
Thinking of him as a friend already and even as someone you’ve known for a long time can help you be free and allow him to see you as you are.
4. Ask questions after you answer them
One thing that almost always happens in online conversations is that one person ends up asking and the other ends up answering and that’s how the “discussion” moves along.
Sure, it’s fine for you two to get to know each other, but that won’t happen if this is the case.
Most of us get messed up because we answer the question and want to see how the other person responds before moving on. Don’t do that.
Go ahead and answer the question, but then ask your own right away. Let it be a two-way conversation and it’ll seem much more natural and you’ll get to know them better.
5. Stop asking questions and just talk
On the flip side of the previous point, you don’t have to ask questions at all. You can just talk – like you would if you met in real life.
You don’t often meet someone and then dive into an interview-like discussion, do you?
If you do, there’s a reason you’re still single. It’s not fun. Nobody wants to feel like they’re being interviewed and that every answer means so much. So stop asking.
Just talk about a specific topic. Bring up something you enjoy talking about and see what they think about it.
Better yet, find something he seems to go on and on about and focus on that. People love talking about things they enjoy and if he can do that with you, he’ll see you in a brighter light than others.
6. Stop controlling the conversation
One of the best tips for online dating conversations is to stop interrupting a great discussion just because you think you should be talking about something else.
This is a huge issue in the online dating world.
People assume you should be getting to know each other and therefore, asking all sorts of questions.
That’s just not how it works. Sure, you want to get to know them and ask a few questions, but if the conversation moves on and you’re having fun just talking about something, leave it be.
Don’t try to steer every single conversation in a specific direction. You’ll get to know more about him than you realize by just talking.
7. Keep things positive and upbeat
No man wants to hear you drone on and on about how work was annoying and you’ve been cleaning all day and you’re exhausted from being up in the middle of the night.
That paints such a negative picture in his mind. It’ll also probably drag him down. When you put a guy in a negative mood through talking, it’s all over for you two.
Focus on keeping the conversation upbeat.
There’s a time and place for getting vulnerable and discussing things that have upset you but an online conversation is not it.
Making a real connection online is all about how you talk to each other. These tips for online dating conversation are meant to get you out of your head so you can actually get to know someone.