7 Things You Need To Discuss Before Living Together

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These past couple of years there’s a rising demand for relationship articles and blogs, people want to learn more and are sharing their advice and experiences. Trying to understand what men want or how to make them happy has been on the mind of many women. 

And now because moving together is on the table and close to becoming a reality, understanding your partner and communicating with him is essential. Sometimes moving together can be like a breath of fresh air, it can lift you and take you to new and exciting places as an individual and as a couple. But other times, moving in together is not the best move to take and it can result in breakups and, often, financial difficulties for both partners. 

So there are a few things that need (I cannot stress that enough) to be discussed before your start living together. These are the seven of the most important things that you need to talk about.


1. Talk about Long-Term Expectations 

One of the reasons many couples decide to break up is unmet expectations. Often, partners do not even communicate their perspective on the future of the relationship and they just expect the other to do what needs to be done. But even though partners often have things in common, that’s not the case for everything else. The most important thing to consider is that no one can read minds. You have to speak up.

Discussing your long-term expectations with your partner helps you see if you are on the same page. If you two want different things, maybe moving in together is not the best choice to be made right now. Many couples start living together right from the beginning, as we know, every start of a relationship comes with positive emotions – But that’s not much to lean on.

Talk to your partner and understand what he wants from your relationship, figure out each others’ plans! Even though it may seem a little bit early to talk about things, like sharing your perspective on marriage or having children. It will be extremely helpful, it will help both of you avoid later misunderstandings or other issues.


2. Managing Your Finance When Living Together  

Moving in together is something that many couples are looking forward to, however, dreamy as it may be, it comes with responsibilities. Discussing finances is one of the most important things you should talk about. While the two of you are living together, you will need to pay for rent, bills, groceries, and any other household costs. One of the healthiest approaches is to share the living costs. 

But not all people have the same attitude towards money. And having this discussion before moving in is important, as some people love spending money, while others like saving it. 

You wouldn’t want to find yourself bankrupt, so share your thoughts on the subject with your partner. It is equally important to be flexible and mindful of your partner’s financial situation. 

3. Why Are You Moving In Together?

Another important thing that needs to be discussed before living together is why you are doing this. It’s not odd for some couples to say that they did this because it was financially wise. But if you move in because of finances, is it the best decision you could make?

Moving in together should be a natural step in many relationships where love and appreciation are cherished. It should be a decision that makes sense for this stage of your relationship. You shouldn’t make this decision based on an ultimatum or financial reasons. Breakups and divorces are something people run away from, although they happen from time to time. But it would be gut-wrenching to move in just to find out that you’re not even loving each other. 


4. How You’re Going To Handle Household Chores 

One of the things that may become a later quarrel topic is household chores. Everybody hates a few of them, some hate all of them… they still have to be done. So Unless you LOVE doing chores – cleaning the apartment, getting groceries, washing the dishes, vacuumin, and everything else… These chores need to be shared. If only one of you is doing these unpleasant but necessary chores, he will become frustrated. 

So, it is essential to discuss these details before moving in. Maybe you hate washing the dishes but have no problem with cleaning the bathroom. There might be some chores we naturally hate doing, so maybe your partner can do them. And vice versa, you can do what he hates doing. Sharing household responsibilities is important and puts you on the same page. Moreover, you avoid getting angry and frustrated later.

couple doing laundry at home

5. Are You Planning On Getting Pets? 

Discussing pets is essential. When you move in together, adopting a pet might seem a natural choice for many people. But others do not love living with a cat or a dog, and having a parrot is stressful for them. Some people are even allergic to pets, they’ll definitely want to avoid those.

You wouldn’t want to be disappointed by your partner’s decision to get a cat or a dog. Maybe one of your doesn’t even want to consider living with a pet, this can sometimes be a deal-breaker. 

It is important to discuss this subject, as you might find out new things about each other. Maybe both of you love animals and want to adopt a pet, that’s an ideal situation. 

Compromising in a romantic relationship can sometimes be exactly what the relationship needs.
You will not be on the same page with every decision you make as a couple, so find the solution together by talking about it.


6. Talk About Your Guests 

When you move in together, you share the space. Each of you has his friends and acquaintances he would like to meet. There are differences in partners’ preferences. Some people might be sociable and want to meet with people all the time. Others might love occasionally spending time with only a few close friends. As long as you live together, you need to agree on this topic. 

Are your friends and family welcomed at any time or do you need to plan these visits ahead of time? Can you invite your friends anytime or prior agreements are needed? 

Talking about this before moving in helps you get ready for what follows and avoid misunderstandings. 


7. Discuss Any Odd Habits You Both Have

We all have odd habits. There is nothing wrong with them, they show your real personality. For example, maybe you love spending the morning in bed talking with your cat. Maybe he likes throwing his clothes on the floor. These weird habits are the salt and pepper of romantic relationships and you will discover new things about your partner every day. 

You’ll love most of them, tolerate some, and ‘strongly dislike’ a few of them. If you have some habits that you think your partner will find weird or disturbing, it is better to talk about them ahead of time. 

breakfast in bed with cat

Let’s get moving

Being in a romantic relationship is a need all people have. We yearn for love, kindness, and appreciation. Your partner might be some of the closest figures to you who can offer you all this. All relationships have a dreamy and idyllic start and moving in together might seem the natural step for many couples. But before you jump into it – It is essential to discuss these things to avoid later frustrations, anger, and misunderstandings. 

After that, no matter what you choose, It’ll be from a place of knowing and understanding each other more. Only good will come from that.