Should You Stop Texting Him To Get His Attention?

Should You Stop Texting Him To Get His Attention?

should you stop texting him to get his attention

You send him a message but a few moments later you get that sinking feeling.

You wonder if he will ignore this message again or take ages to write you back.

It’s clear that something’s not right.

You want him to focus on you, and only you, for just a few moments at the very least.

Should you stop texting him to get his attention?

Before we answer this question, we need to look at some things you may be doing to sabotage your efforts.

Sins Of Texting


First make sure you’re not engaging in one of the terrible sins of texting behavior.

You know what I’m talking about, right?

Right.

So stop!

You have to maintain some discipline or you’ll just keep pushing him away.

Whether you’re in a relationship or hoping to make a guy all yours, avoid doing the following:

Do not text him to check in with him while he’s out with his friends. You’re not his mother.

He needs space and time away from you to learn about how absence makes the heart grow fonder.

If you text him when he needs guy-time he’ll start to feel like being with you is a chore.

Second, do not try to discuss something important in a text message when it should be done in person.

This one is tempting.

You might have discovered something improper he did, or something unrelated to him.

Either way, wait until you’re with him again before discussing it.

Or, at the very least, speak to him on the phone about it.

If you message him regularly and the content is often negative, or you being angry at something, he’ll come to associate your text messages with a bad feeling.

Every time he sees your name on the screen he’ll unconsciously recall the negative emotions he experienced previously.

That’s the last thing you want to happen.

He needs to see your messages and smile. You need to send fun and flirty messages more often than the negative ones. 

But more about that later.

Examine Your Current Texting Habits


This is key to understanding where you’re going wrong.

Think about it for a second.

You’re meeting some really nice guys, but you notice that things fizzle out over time.

You can’t figure out what’s going wrong time and time again.

You’ve got to look at how you’re communicating to him.

And maybe your husband or boyfriend just doesn’t seem as interested in responding to you as he used to.

You remember the early days of your time together, and how he seemed to write you back instantly. Where did it all go wrong?

See if this applies to you:

Do you answer yes to any of the following questions?

Have you already texted and he hasn’t responded?

By this I mean that this happens regularly. He seems to take forever to write you back. You may even see his status as online even as your message is still marked as unread.

Are you usually the person to text first?

And here I mean that your communication is not about something important, but rather idle conversation.

It’s the kind of chit-chat not related to important information you need, e.g. what time to meet or what to pick up from the store.

Whether you answered yes to one or both questions, it’s time to change your tactics.

The great benefit with this is understanding the link between your actions and their results.

The even better news is that by adopting a new way of texting you will overcome your current difficulties.

Determine How Much He Really Likes You


Do you even know how this guy feels about you?

Truthfully, women aren’t always the best at being able to tell how a guy feels. Mostly, this has to do with the fact that men aren’t that great at conveying how they feel.

Women think that a few responses to a text message and a single hangout means a guy is ready to commit.

In reality, he might not even be that into you. He could just be talking to you because he doesn’t have much else to do.

If that’s the case, he won’t respond to you very often. Why? Because he just doesn’t care enough to make sure he’s in continuous communication with you.

Should you really be trying to get a guy’s attention who doesn’t even like you?

And if you really like him, think about the different ways you can go about getting him to like you.

Should you stop texting him to get his attention? Will that help getting him to like you?

On the one hand, it might make him realize that you’re not just going to be around whenever he wants you to be.

On the other, he might not even notice if he’s not into you in the first place.

Think hard about all the times you spent time with him. Was he giving you intense eye contact that showed how much he was paying attention? Did he lean in closer to talk to you?

These are all signs he likes you and will make getting his attention a little easier.

Let Him Come To You


How often do you text him first? Now how often does he send the first message?

As much as we want to believe these things don’t matter, they do.

The more you text him first, the more he’ll expect you to text him. Over time, he’ll just grow accustomed to your messages and they won’t hold much value for him.

You have to let him come to you.

Let him text you first half the time and it’ll show you how much interest he really has in you to begin with.

So yes, stop texting him to get his attention.

If you’re always reaching out first, he’ll eventually realize that something is off when his phone isn’t buzzing with your texts.

He’ll grow curious as to why you’re not messaging him and it’ll prompt him to send the first message.

Once he texts you, you’re free to talk to him.

The whole idea behind this method is to make the conversation his idea. Make him have the desire to talk to you before you even send anything.

That will get his attention.

Leave At The Peak Of The Conversation


You’ll have a really hard time with this one; most do.

When you really get to talking and things are going well, tell him you have to go but would love to continue the discussion later.

It might seem counterproductive but hear me out.

Guys like good conversation just as much as women.

When you’re really hitting it off and then disappear on him, he’ll be bummed out.

You left on a high note and that’ll make him think about you long after the discussion is over. You’ll be on his mind all day in this instance.

However, if you wait until the great conversation is over, his mind has already moved on.

You want to leave him wanting more. You have to ditch the conversation without telling him why and make him think about what you’re doing.

The more he thinks about you, the more you’ll have his attention.

Plus, he’ll wonder what was so important that you couldn’t continue such a great conversation. He’ll wonder what you’re doing and it’ll pique his curiosity.

When it comes to getting a guy’s attention, making him curious is one of the best ways of doing this.

But make sure you tell him you’re leaving. Don’t just stop texting him because that can send a negative message.

Think About What You’re Sending


A guy doesn’t want to talk about the weather. Hell, he doesn’t even want to hear about that annoying coworker of yours.

If you want a response from him, you have to talk about something that intrigues him.

This is especially true if you know he’s busy and not readily available to talk to you. When that’s the case, you have to send him something that gets his attention enough to draw him in to conversation.

So ask yourself what you most often text him.

Do you ask him what he’s doing? Do you say, “Hey, what’s up?” Or do you even just send him something along the lines of, “I’m bored?”

These are pretty standard messages to send when you want to chat but they won’t get you a response.

In fact, they might actually annoy him more than they’ll entice him.

When you send messages like that, you’re basically telling him that you want him to entertain you. It’s more of a demand than it is a segue into conversation.

Think harder about what you send if you really want to get his attention.

Make sure you start the conversation off with something more than just a simple greeting. 

Better yet, start with a question he can’t help but answer.

When you intrigue his mind and make him curious as to why you’re questioning him about something, you’ll hook him.

Mention something you know he really likes or a hobby of his and ask about it. 

Once he realizes you want to talk about something interesting, he’ll want to respond ASAP.

The Recipe For Texting Success


Now that you know what to do and what not to do, it’s time to talk about how to achieve overall success.

When it comes to gaining your man’s full attention, you have two options.

The first is tick most of the boxes. (The second option is just below)

To do this you have to change your current habits.

Of course, you’re going to totally avoid the sins mentioned in the first part of this article.

And next you’re going to make sure you focus on these two points:

If you always text first, from now on you will wait until he texts.

If he waits a long time to respond to you, you will take equally as long.

As a general rule, do the opposite of what you’re currently doing (that isn’t working), and/or copy his texting behavior.

So, should you stop texting him to get his attention?

Yes and no. It’s going to depend on how the above applies to you, and how he responds to your methods.

You’ll soon notice whether your change of texting habit has the desired effect. The guy you’re dating might actually not be that into you, and things will indeed fizzle out.

But that’s a good thing. You can’t make him like you and do you really want to force a guy to like you in the first place? No.

Now you’re free to meet better men and find a great guy to make you happy.

And what’s the second option?

It’s to tick all of the boxes.

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About the author

Alex Andrews

Dating and relationships coach. Author at romancoholic.com