So everything is going great with him, and you’re thinking to yourself should I move in with my boyfriend?
These seven questions will help all types of women find out just what kind of mental checklist they need before moving in with the man in their lives.
Where do we want this relationship to go?
Perhaps the main question before even considering moving in is what is the end goal of moving in together?
Do you plan to get married one day, or does the idea of living together just sound nice?
Living together takes a lot of effort, sacrifice, and compromise, and shouldn’t be taken lightly.
That’s why it’s good to first discuss the reasons why either of you want to move in together.
Realizing you have a common goal gives you a solid foundation on which you can continue to build your relationship.
If, however, your motivations are quite different, or you aren’t ready to compromise yet, it might be too early.
That doesn’t mean you should never live together, though.
Simply step back until you both get on the same page, and in the meantime enjoy what you have now.
How will we combine our routines?
Try to remember what living with your family or roommates was like: always someone occupying the bathroom, eating all the leftovers, or hogging the TV.
This is similar, only now you’re fully formed individuals with your own routines you’re probably too accustomed to. You won’t give up your Netflix time so lightly.
Ideally, both of you have learned most of the other’s habits by now.
Ask yourselves: who is the morning and who is the evening person?
Who likes to relax with a book, and who likes to cook to unwind?
How can you accommodate each other’s routines, so you’re still very much individual whilst also being a couple?
The best course of action would be to spend a few weekends or a full week together as a trial period.
Only then will you know if you can tick this box off the “moving in together” checklist.
Did we have a real, serious fight before?
Some time ago, there was romantic advice going around online saying that on the day of your wedding, you should each write a love letter to your partner, put them both in a box, and then seal the box.
When you have your first serious fight, open the box and read the letters to remind yourselves how much you love one another.
Many readers complained how such couples shouldn’t get married in the first place.
The same goes for living together.
Contrary to popular belief, arguments are good. The way you handle issues, solve them (or don’t) can be very telling of a relationship.
How you come out of fights also sets the course for the rest of the relationship.
Sharing the same living space (even if you’re not romantically involved) can be the cause of so many disagreements.
Ask yourselves how well you can handle impending arguments and if you’re willing to yield a few for the sake of future harmony.
How do we settle on paying the bills?
Another very important thing to agree on before moving in is how you’ll pay the monthly bills.
Whether it’s through a joint bank account for that sole purpose, or chipping in every month from your paychecks, it’s good to spend some time talking about finances.
Apart from utilities, there’s also the question of groceries, and unforeseen expenses like household repairs, or pet medical bills.
While this is a tricky topic to nail down so early, solving your financial questions will save you much stress later on.
What are we like when “the going gets tough”?
Arguments between partners aren’t the only issue when living together.
Many unforeseen circumstances can come about and knock your relationship off track.
Think about your life so far, and how the two of you handled each other’s personal problems.
Once you move in, whatever happens to you will become his problem as well, and vice versa.
Are you ready to become involved in each other’s life more than before?
Because you will have to learn how to listen and handle problems other than your own.
Now that your relationship is on a whole new level, you’ll have to be even more supportive, considerate and patient.
How well do we know the other’s professional life?
This question goes almost hand in hand with routines and habits.
It’s good to be acquainted with what your partner does for a living, but it’s even better to know what it entails before moving in.
When you come home, do you like to talk about your day or just chill out in silence for an hour or so?
Do you two work in different shifts?
How early do you leave for work, and how long do you take to get ready in the bathroom?
Did we hash out all the habits in front of each other?
It’s all fine and dandy on a weekend getaway, or a summer holiday, in your temporary beach apartment or hotel room.
You’re still somewhat reserved and try to maintain your best image to leave a good impression.
We go out of our way to show our best feminine side.
That’s still not an indicator of how well you’ll function in everyday life.
Living together means there’ll be dirty laundry, dishes, furniture arrangement, and even tiny little habits like clipping your nails or drinking straight out of the carton.
Share your pet peeves with each other long before you decide to move in.
It saves you both a lot of unpleasant surprises and possible squabbles later on.
Moving in with your boyfriend is a commendable, logical step forward.
These seven questions aren’t the only ones you can ask yourselves and each other.
Depending on how far your relationship has come, you’ll recognize which aspects of your new life together need to be discussed, specific for the two of you.
As far as “New Girl” goes, gimmicks are cute, but the TV screen is as far as they’ll go.
Real life is wholly different, and there’s nothing wrong with that.