When it comes to trying to get your ex back, there are a few different methods you can go for.
While some may be interesting to try and a couple might work, there’s one that’s head and shoulders above the rest.
The no contact rule is pretty simple, but there’s a lot that goes into it. Ultimately, though, it’s your best bet for getting back together with your ex.
What is the no contact rule?
If you’re curious about this method, I’m going to help shed some light on it.
Basically, the no contact rule is what it sounds like; you can’t have any form of contact with your ex for a full month.
None. No messaging, texting, snap chatting, liking their posts, or anything. It’s as if you two don’t even know each other.
How does it work?
This works because it creates distance. And as the old saying goes, “absence makes the heart grow fonder.”
When you’re away from someone for that long, you clear your mind. You can step away and make decisions without him clouding your mind.
Because we all know how hard it can be to make real choices about ourselves and our futures when the person we love is staring right back at us.
Their presence can change so much and make us decide something based on them and not what we really need.
The no contact rule helps separate you from him so you can actually think straight.
And it does the same for him. He may realize his life with you is all he wants.
Rules for making the no contact rule successful
If you’re serious about getting back with your man, you have to follow these rules exactly. Not doing so will result in this method not working as it’s intended.
1. Stick to it
This will be, by far, the hardest thing for you to do. It’s so tempting to talk to the person you love – especially after a breakup.
You have to be strong and you have to make a commitment to this method if you really want it to work. If you don’t, it could fail and you’ll be right back where you started.
2. Avoid stuff that reminds you of him
The whole point here is to create some distance. Clutching a picture of the two of you as you wrap yourself in his sweater won’t help with anything.
Try to go out of your way to think of him less so the temptation isn’t even there anymore.
3. Ignore him if he reaches out
He might try to. You can tell him you want to try the no contact rule all you want but he might not be as strong as you. And let’s be real, he probably isn’t.
That means you’ll have to ignore him if he reaches out. Don’t even tell him to leave you alone.
You have to shut down communication because saying anything to him at all will reopen the gate. He’ll think he can keep trying.
But it won’t work if you continue talking to each other so help the both of you out by ignoring.
4. Don’t “accidentally” bump into him
You know him. You know where he likes to go and where he spends his free time. It’ll be very easy for you to “accidentally” bump into him without realizing it.
You could do it subconsciously but ultimately, you know what you’re doing.
Don’t fall for this. Don’t let yourself ruin this method because you want to see him.
And better yet, if you do think he’ll be somewhere, go elsewhere so you don’t have to risk it.
5. Leave if you see him somewhere
Because you know he probably won’t.
If you really want this method to work and you want to get back together or even figure out if being with him is what you truly want, just leave.
Turn around and walk out the door. You’ll both be better off for it. Try to do this before he even sees you.
6. Get distracted with life
Go back to life as you knew it before him. Be busy and find distraction with everyday hobbies and friends.
This is the best way to ensure you won’t be tempted to talk to him. If you’re too busy to even think about him, you’ll be too busy to pick up your phone and text him.
Just remember to have fun and enjoy yourself. This month doesn’t have to be a rough and lonely one unless you make it that way.
7. Don’t bait him
You know what I mean by this. Don’t be posting pictures with a ton of other guys or rubbing your hangouts in his face.
He’s hurting too. And if you really want him to get back with you, hurting him even more won’t help.
So don’t give him reasons to talk to you. This no contact rule only works if you’re both aiming for the same thing.
8. Think about what you want out of life
During this time, it’s important to do some self-reflecting. You have to think about your life and what you really want out of it.
Do you truly want this man at your side? The no contact rule isn’t just about getting back together. It’s also about determining if this is truly what you want.
So think about what your life will look like and decide if he shows up in your mind when you picture it.
9. Invest time in your friendships
Stop thinking about that darn man so much. During this month of zero contact, instead spend more time with your friends.
Build those relationships and get close to them again because we all know how much we neglect them when we fall hard for someone.
Maintaining those connections is crucial to a healthy relationship if you get back together and can help keep you distracted right now.
10. Get in touch after the month is up and start slow
Once the month is up and only when the entire month is over, you can reach out again. Start with something simple and just say hi.
Don’t get right into the discussion of a relationship because that’s a lot of pressure.
And if you decide you don’t even want the relationship anymore, don’t say anything. If he decides to talk to you, then you can let him know how you feel.
The no contact rule is super helpful if you want to get back together.
It forces you both to spend some time apart and it allows you to think clearly for once. Just make sure to follow these rules to get the best results!