Respect is one of the key ingredients of a harmonious and lasting marriage.
Without it, the chances of your marriage breaking down is much higher than normal.
So if you’re here because the thought my husband doesn’t respect me has been dwelling in your mind for quite some time now, I’ve got some good advice for you.
No wife ever imagined being in such a painful situation.
Because when his respect for you is no longer there, it can also be one of the many signs your husband doesn’t love you anymore.
11 Signs Your Husband Doesn’t Respect You
Respect means different things to different people.
But in the context of a marriage, respect is all about treating your other half the way you want to be treated.
Following are some major signs that your husband doesn’t respect you:
1. He doesn’t take your “No” as a “No”.
If he doesn’t take “no” for an answer and forces you to do things you’re not comfortable with, it’s a sign that he doesn’t respect you.
2. He doesn’t listen to you.
Except when he needs something…like sex.
3. He isolates you from others.
He controls who you can be friends with and doesn’t agree when you make plans to see family and friends.
4. Sometimes he threatens to hurt himself if you don’t follow his orders.
He manipulates you into doing what he wants through emotional abuse.
5. There’s no room for compromise when making life-changing decisions.
His motto is “It’s my way or the highway”.
6. He doesn’t respect your personal space.
And he doesn’t understand that you need alone time too.
7. You often feel bad about yourself because of his insensitive comments.
He never passes up an opportunity to make you feel down on yourself.
8. He treats you like a sex object.
Yes, he’s interested with being intimate with you.
But after he’s gotten off, he acts like you’re not around, prompting you to ask the question “Why does he ignore me?”
9. He flirts with other women even if you’re around.
And acts like there’s nothing wrong with him acting that way.
10. He lies and keeps secrets from you.
And doesn’t show remorse for this disgusting behavior.
11. He shouts at you.
Your husband often shouts at you when you are debating or having a conversation he doesn’t feel like having.
If your husband sounds like this kind of man, it’s high time for you to deal with his behavior and in the right way.
5 Things To Do When Your Husband Doesn’t Respect You
You should consider that your marriage could be over when there is both a lack of respect and love in your union.
There are times when you know in your heart that your husband is being deliberately disrespectful but you turn a blind eye in the hope that by not calling out his behavior, it will stop eventually.
You probably know now that it won’t. So what are you to do?
Next we’ll look at five crucial things to live by when your husband doesn’t respect you anymore:
1. Be critical of the behavior, not the person.
It’s easy to lash out in anger at your husband when he’s disrespectful to you.
However, this won’t solve the problem. For this reason, it’s important to provide constructive criticism to your husband and with love.
Here’s some step-by-step advice on how you can do that.
Check your feelings, thoughts, and intentions before giving feedback about his disrespectful behavior.
Choose the right moment.
It’s important to address your husband only when he is ready to sit down and listen.
Start by giving praise.
Talk about the things he’s doing right as a husband before you offer criticism.
Clarify and probe so you can arrive at a better understanding of what’s driving your husband’s disrespectful behavior.
You could discover that it’s related to something you’re doing.
Be 100% present by listening to him with your full attention as he provides you his side of the story and perspective.
Don’t order him about and tell him what and what not to do. Don’t give the “You need to change now or else…” speech either.
Instead, offer your opinion based on facts and a constructive plan for change.
Don’t expect immediate results.
Your husband may not accept responsibility immediately. It’s important to be patient as he come to terms with the consequences of his actions.
2. Initiate change in a positive way.
Waiting for your spouse to change is not something you’ll want to hold your breath for.
You’d make use of your time better by trying to work on some of your areas of weakness, and focusing on making yourself stronger.
When your husband sees the effort you’re putting into yourself and your relationship with him, he’s more likely to realize the error of his ways.
3. Come from a place of love…always
Building better boundaries in your marriage is necessary for getting your husband to recognize his mistakes.
But as you do, it’s important to also do it from a place of love.
This means making your husband feel loved in the way you deal with him as well as being consistent about it.
By showing your respect and love for him in spite of his weaknesses and shortcomings, he’ll soon realize that it’s never too late to repair what he has damaged in your marriage.
4. Stick to showing him the respect due to him as your husband.
It’s difficult to continue loving a partner who does not respect you. It’s also difficult to respect a man who doesn’t love you.
However, despite this, you can be proactive with the following:
Respect his position within your family.
Continue honoring him as your husband by fulfilling your duties as a wife wholeheartedly.
Appreciate him for the good things he’s doing.
But don’t go on pretending that you agree with his terrible choices in the other areas of his life and your marriage.
Remember to stay positive.
Don’t nag, yell, or put him down; undermine him in public; or treat him with contempt or disdain.
These things may not be enough in regaining his respect for you. You can also explore the option of attending marriage counseling sessions with him.
Don’t Wait For The Yellow Lights To Turn Red
Now that you know how to deal with your husband’s disrespectful behavior, you can try to continue being the good wife you’ve always tried to be.
Remember, it is possible to come back from a respect deficit and bring this crucial ingredient back into your marriage again, But don’t give up your dignity in the process.