Does it seem like everything you speak about with your boyfriend ends up in a fight? Long distance relationship fights seem to be all too common.
There’s something about physical proximity that helps resolve arguments. When you’re in a long-distance relationship, that opportunity is completely wiped out.
If you want to make your long distance relationship work, the hardest thing to do can be to maintain harmony between the two of you.
It is very difficult to create a healthy balance of sharing and intimacy when there are thousands of miles between the two of you, and fighting always makes everything worse.
Constantly arguing makes you think of worst-case scenarios and you even end up wanting to escape the entire situation altogether.
But hold on, take a few deep breaths, and try these few steps for dealing with the next fight with your partner. (Before it boils into another extended argument, and another, and seems like your whole life is consumed by drama.)
Don’t Be Impulsive
When you’re incapable of expressing yourself properly, you make snap decisions. This is mostly the case when the person you’re fighting with isn’t in front of you,.
This is be one of the main causes of an unhealthy long distance relationship. So, before you hang up or stop answering your phone altogether, think again.
A long-distance relationship requires patience and understanding. You need to use the physical and mental space to your advantage and process situations rationally.
This may be really hard, but it is definitely the best approach when things are going south.
Communication Is Key
The way you communicate with your partner is the foundation upon which long distance relationships are made or broken.
You know that the distance will not last forever, and the sacrifice you need to make for the time being is that of being honest and direct.
Go easy on the mystery and guesswork. It generally does not work out in this context.
Be sure he hears you and make sure you give enough time for your partner to get in his piece too.
It’s important to maintain healthy and regular line of communication because your shared insights into yours and his feelings and emotions are what hold the relationship together (aside from all those private video chats and snaps).
Less of the Silent Treatment
This goes out to all of you who rely on the silent treatment. A long-distance relationship is the worst place to use this.
A lack of communication is often the most frustrating thing that you can inflict on your other half, and even if you feel he deserves it, he probably doesn’t.
So, find better ways of expressing your anger and frustration. This is really not going to help anything when it comes to resolving an ongoing issue.
Strengthen the Listener in You
While we’re all caught up in our anger and fury, we often forget there are two sides to the same coin. The most important person in your life is the one you’re angry with.
While your anger is warranted, you need to give him some room to express himself as well.
So once you are done pouring out all that anger, switch to being the listener. You need to understand his side of the situation and try working with him instead of being on opposing sides of the battlefield.
One Issue at a Time
When you’re in a long-distance relationship, it is often the case that little things and discomforts go unnoticed and unrecognized.
While this may build up and lead to something bigger, your efforts to resolve something must be focused only on the issue at hand.
One of the more annoying aspects of long distance fights is having to deal with multiple problems mixed into the same argument.
There’s no shying away from mistakes, true, but bringing them all up in a single breath can be a bit overwhelming – not to mention more damaging.
So try addressing the issue at hand, resolving it in a responsible and mature fashion, and then address the next concern.
Your man will appreciate this approach too.
Admit Your Faults
Being vocal about your guilt in something specific, like being unresponsive or shifty, is important for long distance fights.
This allows your boyfriend to understand that you’re not in it for the blame game, and admit that there are two sides to any problem that arises.
It also shows that you’re willing to move past a specific fight and work on the bigger picture at hand.
More often than not, admitting your fault forms grounds for him to admit his part in it as well – an important step toward resolution.
Benefit of the Doubt
Lastly, your relationship should be built on trust and faith. Without these factors, there is no way you decided to take up the giant ordeal of sustaining a long-distance relationship.
If that trust still exists, there is hardly anything that’ll get in its way.
The fact of the matter is, you and your man share something special. Give him the benefit of the doubt because he is probably the only one in your life who deserves it.
Sure, you both will make mistakes and they leave you feeling under-appreciated, unhappy, and even a bit ghosted at times.
This does not mean you forget about the entire thing and act like it never happened – that is unhealthy.
Address the topic, make him understand that he was at fault and conclude by letting him know that you are letting it go. Moreover, it puts you on the moral high ground.
However, if you suspect he does not intend it, give him the benefit of the doubt and focus on the larger picture. He’s much more likely to then do the same when the tables are turned.
No matter what, the important thing is that you pull through whatever the distance throws at you. Make sure you value those things about him that were attractive in the first place and worth fighting for.