Breakups are tough for everyone. Unless you really didn’t care about the other person, they’re a nightmare.
You may even end up still having feelings for him after you’ve been single for a while.
But is it normal to still love your ex?
Is it normal to be broken up for months, only to be left with the desire to run into his arms and go back to him?
Truthfully, that depends on a lot of things. Love is powerful.
It can do amazing things to a person and it’s hard to tell if being in love with your ex is normal for you when it might not be normal for another person.
Here are some questions to help you figure that out.
1. How long has it been?
When did you breakup? If it was just a few days ago, then yes, you can still have extreme feelings for him.
But if you guys split a long time ago and you’re still having feelings, that may be out of the ordinary.
It does take time to get over someone you were in love with, but it shouldn’t take months on end.
You can still have a special place in your heart for him but if you really still love him, you may have a few problems of your own to work through.
2. Who dumped who?
This really does matter. If he left you, then it’s easy to assume you’re still in love with him. And that’s normal.
You were heart broken and never stopped loving him to begin with. Just because he left doesn’t mean your feelings suddenly end.
Even so, him falling out of love with you may have increased your feelings even more due to your heartbreak and you may even be wondering if he’ll come back.
Work on moving on and putting that relationship behind you.
3. What was your relationship like?
Was it even healthy? Often, toxic relationships can actually make it harder to stop loving your ex.
It’s like he brainwashed you. And in reality, he probably did manipulate you to some degree, even making you believe you needed him in your life.
And so, months later, you still do. If you had a hard relationship, it may be normal to still have feelings for him, even if it’s not reasonable or healthy.
4. What was the breakup like?
If it was a super messy breakup, that could make getting over him a lot easier.
On the flip side, a really nice breakup where you two had a good discussion before parting ways may have made it a hell of a lot harder.
Having a great breakup that isn’t followed up with drama makes it normal to still love him. And that’s just because there weren’t any influential circumstances altering how you feel.
It was all love the whole time.
5. How long were you together?
This plays a major role. The longer you were together, the harder you’re going to love him even after the breakup.
And if you were only together for a short while, it makes things easier to process. So if you’re still in love with your ex even though you only dated for six months, that’s not quite normal.
But if you were together years, then yes. It makes sense that you’re holding onto those feelings.
6. What have you done since the breakup?
Believe it or not, this really does make a huge difference.
If you’ve just been sitting indoors, thinking about the breakup and trying to determine if you should try to get back together with him, then you’re going to still love your ex.
But if you’ve been trying to stay distracted and yet you still love him, that’s not quite as normal.
7. What do you love about him?
And really think about this, hard. What’s making you hold onto that love for him?
Often, people who are still in love with their exes aren’t actually. What they love is the idea of the relationship and the future they could’ve had.
In this case, it would be normal to still love him if you planned everything out and loved what you two were working toward.
8. Are all your friends in relationships?
It’s normal to still love your ex if all you’re seeing around you is relationships. You want yours back. You want to be a part of that.
So if this is the case, you probably still love him because you want to hold on to that idea of a relationship. You want to be included with all your friends who are still so in love.
That can influence you to still be in love.
9. Have you tried getting back out there?
And be serious. Have you actually tried to meet other people and move on or have you willingly spent your weekends indoors pining over him?
Because if you’ve done the latter, ofcourse you still love him! You haven’t made an effort to move on.
10. Were the two of you especially close?
This seems like an odd question, but just listen. Relationships are all different. You can be in love with someone and not be all that close to him.
You can also be in love with someone and be best friends who share everything with each other.
So which were you? If you were best friends, it’s more likely that you’re still in love with him and if that’s the case, this would be normal.
11. Have you seen him since?
Continuously seeing your ex will cause you to still be in love with him, especially if he’s the one who ended things in the first place.
You’re constantly being reminded of your feelings and you’re always interacting and solidifying your love for him.
If you haven’t seen him in a long time and still harbor love for him, that’s a little abnormal. You should have gotten over him within a couple months of the relationship ending.
So is it normal to still love your ex? As you can see, it all depends. There isn’t a yes or no answer because every relationship is different and every love is different.
But if you’ve been broken up for a very long time and haven’t even seen him, it’s not normal to be pining over him.
Take the time and place to heal and move on, you deserve to be happy, truly happy.
Don’t hold yourself back from living life, there’s happiness right around the corner even if you can’t see it from where you’re standing.
I love you, Good luck!