How To Use A Dildo: A Beginner's Guide - Romancoholic

How To Use A Dildo: A Beginner’s Guide

woman using a dildo

Not all of us can have a man ready for us at our every beck and call. For that reason, you’ll want to learn how to use a dildo in order to get off when the mood strikes.

But it’s not as easy as buying one and just going to town. There are a lot of things to consider when using a dildo, especially when it’s your first time. You’ll want to know how to use it properly and pleasurably along with how to choose the best one for you.

Not all dildos are created equal, you know. But have no fear. That’s what I’m here for. If you’re trying to figure out how to use a dildo and actually enjoy it, this is what you should know.

How to use a dildo for the first time

Getting your first sex toy can be more than a little intimidating. It’s something that’s considered taboo and maybe even a little kinky. Figuring out how to use a man is one thing; it’s completely different when you’re the one in charge of the object going into you.

For that reason, it’s important to know how to use a dildo for the first time.

1. Choose one that’s right for you

Not every dildo will feel all that great for you. The truth is that there are so many different types and shapes to choose from.

You can opt for a lifelike dildo that’s made from material that closely resembles a real man or you can choose to go with something colorful and less like the real thing.

The choice is really up to you, but finding one that works best for you and one you can actually enjoy is more important than you realize.

Head to a sex toy store and feel the different types. Pick the one that gets you the most excited.

2. Get yourself in the mood

You can’t insert a dildo into something as dry as the Sahara. Getting yourself in the mood and getting wet is obviously going to help immensely.

The more turned on you are, the easier it’ll be to get yourself off with a dildo. So focus your mind on your fantasies and let it guide you to your happy place.

3. Use lube if necessary

And, most likely, it’ll be necessary. Even if it’s not, it only adds to the experience of using a dildo for the first time, so use it if you have some.

You don’t have to have someone else helping you to get in the mood. Usually, without a guy present, it can be hard to get lubricated yourself but being wet is extremely helpful for dildos and making the experience a lot more pleasurable.

4. Go slow

There’s no need to rush into things. The slower you go, the easier it is to determine what feels good and what’s not that great.

Easing into it also helps you get used to the feeling of a dildo and not a real person. Take your time and enjoy it.

5. Experiment

There’s a lot you can do with a dildo and certain moves feel different depending on the person. That just means you’ll want to try new things with the dildo.

Figure out what works and which positions feel the best. Take the time to experiment and you’ll get a lot more out of it.

How to prepare for using a dildo

A lot of having success with a dildo is properly preparing. Without getting everything ready, you might end up spending a lot of time doing relatively nothing.

1. Get some alone time

Don’t just assume you can prepare with only having 30 minutes to yourself. If you’re only beginning to use a dildo, it might take you a while to warm up to things.

That means you’ll need more time. So plan for at least an hour of uninterrupted alone time.

2. Put your mind in the right place

You have to get ready to get yourself off. You’ve masturbated before, which means you know the drill.

Start thinking of those fantasies sooner rather than later. You can even pour yourself a glass of wine in order to ease some nerves or tension. It’s best to be relaxed, in the mood, and excited to have some fun.

3. Lube up and get wet

This prep step is not optional. You have to get wet and ready to take the dildo. Sometimes that means loading up on lube and having it within arm’s reach.

You can also set aside some other toys that can help with this step too.

How to use a dildo for anal

Finding what you like sexually is all about experimenting. If you’re looking to give your back door a try, here’s what you need to know first.

1. Lube is your best friend

I know this has been mentioned a few times but, really, it’s important – especially when it comes to using a dildo for anal pleasure.

You don’t have natural lubricant back there and shoving a dildo into that area when it’s dry is just a disaster waiting to happen.

So get a lube you really like that’s simple. Lube yourself up, lube the dildo up, and just keep some on hand in case you need it. Because you just might.

2. Get cleaned out

You know what I’m talking about. Making sure that area is all cleaned out will make the process a little less messy and more pleasurable.

Plus, without anything in the way, you’ll be able to tell what you like most and it opens you up to more experimenting.

3. Relax your body

You’ll never enjoy anal play unless your entire body is at ease. If it’s not, getting the dildo in at all is going to be a challenge.

You really have to calm yourself and get to a relaxed state of mind in order to have fun with it. Once your body eases, it’ll make the dildo much easier to maneuver.

4. Move very slowly

Slow and steady is the way to go when it comes to anal play no matter what you’re using. With a dildo, it’s particularly important.

Now, the best way to do this is to just have the tip of the dildo enter at first. Then breathe slowly through your nose and relax your body.

One you’re calm and it feels comfortable, move a little more until you find the depth that works best for you.

5. Vary your depth and angles

Anal sex can be extremely pleasurable for a lot of different women if done correctly, but no two people like the same angles and depth. For that reason, you have to give yourself some time to figure out which angles and depth work best for you.

Move slowly and make sure your body is staying relaxed no matter what you do. Then move faster or slower depending on what feels best.

You can also try to angle the dildo toward the front or back to figure out which spot hits it just right. Keep experimenting until you know what works best for you.

Best positions for using a dildo

When it comes to using a dildo, you only have a few different positions that’ll feel good while also allowing you to move it the way you want. Here are some of the best ones for the job.

1. Missionary

You’re probably pretty familiar with this position. It’s really the easiest for using a dildo and that’s just because there’s not much to it.

You lie on your back and insert the dildo. It’s that simple. This is a really good position simply because it doesn’t require too much work on your end but still allows you to use your free hand for clitoral stimulation as well.

2. Reach around

If you’re the type who likes it from behind usually, this one will be ideal for you. Essentially, it’s the missionary but on your stomach.

You lie face down and insert the dildo from behind. The best thing about this position is that it has a lot more g-spot stimulation than others simply because the dildo is pressing forward.

You’ll also have plenty of clit play with this position too.

3. Ride it

This isn’t very easy to do unless you get a suction dildo, but it’s still possible.

With one hand, hold the dildo in place and then just sit on it and ride it like you would your man.

It’s a simple position that gives you a lot of control and makes it feel the most life-like.

Choosing the right dildo as a beginner

Like I mentioned above, no two dildos are the same. There are long ones, short ones, thick ones, skinnier ones, and even curved ones. It’s all about finding what type works best and what you enjoy most.

When looking to choose a dildo as a beginner, you want to think about what feels best for you during sex. What shape, length, and girth do you find you’re drawn to most when having sex?

These are some options to think about too.

1. Suction dildo

These are ideal simply because they’re very adaptable. You don’t have to use your hand in order to operate it. It’s as easy as sticking it on the side of your shower and easing back onto it.

This one is usually best for those who want more variety with their dildo. You can use it the same as a regular one and then some.

2. Vibrating dildo

Some say it’s not really considered a dildo if it also vibrates, but that’s just not the case. This is also a great one to use if you need a little something aside from g-spot stimulation to get off.

You need vibrating to get there. That’s where this one is useful. You can use it as a regular one as well but it just comes with the perk of vibrating when you turn it on.

3. Regular dildo

This just means it’s plain. There’s nothing more to it than the shaft and maybe some balls for gripping.

It’s simple, but effective and is probably the best for just starting out.

4. Curved dildo

If you want some major g-spot pleasure, you should get a curved dildo. They’re made specifically to hit that g-spot just right no matter what position you’re in.

They can be used just the same as a normal one but they usually feel a little better. The only downside is they lack the realness of a plain dildo.

Orgasmic techniques for using a dildo

Now that you’ve got the basics down, you’ll want some tips for making it extra special. Try some of these methods the next time you get some alone time with your dildo.

1. Try twisting it

Not many women use this method but it’s actually extremely pleasurable if done right. The idea here is to stimulate your g-spot in different ways.

If you only move it in and out, it won’t really be anything new. The more used to a sensation you are, the less effect it has on you.

That means if you want to make it extra special and pleasurable, try twisting the dildo. This also allows the tip of it to move around and hit your g-spot in a new way – from side to side.

2. Angle it toward the front of your body

It’s not enough to just move the dildo in and out. That’s fine and it works, but in order to hit your g-spot a lot more and harder, angle the dildo toward the front of your body when it’s inside.

Since your g-spot is right on the front wall of your lady bits, it’ll hit it just perfectly and you’ll really feel the pleasure.

3. Keep it deep

Do you know what your a-spot is? Not many people do. It’s similar to your g-spot and even on the same side of your vagina, but much higher near your cervix.

Now, this isn’t just stimulated the same as the g-spot. In fact, this spot can be much more intense and can often require constant pressure. That means if you want to feel something new and incredible, keep the dildo deep and focus on smaller thrusts.

Learning how to use a dildo can be a little intimidating if you’ve never experienced it before. So long as you follow these tips, you’ll have a very fun, fulfilling time.

About the author

Bella Pope

Bella is a lifestyle and online marketing writer, cheese enthusiast (Wisconsin native over here), Writing Youtuber, and fantasy adventure author-in-progress who enjoys all things dog, pizza, and writing related.