There are just some guys you can’t stop thinking about. No matter how hard you try, their face keeps popping up without warning.
As much as you might think this is fine, it’s not. You have to figure out how to stop obsessing over a guy no matter the reason for it.
Whether you’re into him and want to get together or you’re just trying to get over him, the process is relatively the same.
It’s not an easy thing to do. Essentially, you’ll be learning how to control your thoughts more so than your actions.
As you can imagine, that’s pretty difficult, especially when you’re in an obsessive state of mind.
We all obsess over a guy at one time or another.
That’s just how the dating world works. You meet someone great, you think of having a future with him, and the next thing you know you’re all but planning the wedding.
How to know when your obsessive behavior is becoming harmful
Not all of your over-the-top feelings are a bad thing. It’s normal to get overly excited about a new man in your life.
That being said, it can also be harmful in certain situations. Which is why you want to learn how to stop obsessing over a guy.
1. You’re ditching friends for him
I think we all do this from time to time, particularly when we’re younger, though doing so in adulthood is even worse.
We find a new guy and immediately start ditching our friends just to be with him.
It’s understandable because you’re so excited but where does that leave your friendships?
Throwing them away because you’re obsessed with a new guy who could end up being nothing to you is not the right way to go.
This is a sign you have to make some serious changes.
2. You stop living your own life
This really just means that you drop everything to be available the second he comes knocking.
Instead of going out with friends or working out whenever you want to, you keep your schedule clear, just in case.
This is not only really dumb, but it’s also super harmful to your life. If you can’t continue living your own life because you’re obsessed with some guy, you need to change something.
3. His opinion is the only opinion
Essentially, you stop having your own thoughts and opinions about stuff. You disregard your true opinions and just agree with him.
Many women don’t even realize they do this. In an attempt to make him like them more, they’ll just agree with anything he says. But in truth, a quality guys like in a girl is for her to have her own opinions.
And, for obvious reasons, going with whatever he says is toxic for you and any potential relationship you may have with this guy.
How to stop obsessing over a guy the easy way
Being overly into a new guy is completely normal, but it’s just not helpful no matter what your goals are.
If you really want to figure out how to stop thinking about a guy, this is what you have to do.
1. Get rid of triggers
Your brain is already temptation enough. There’s no need to be looking at pictures, messages, or social media feeds of the person you’re obsessed with.
Having a ton of stuff around you to remind you of him won’t do you any good. You really have to focus on actively getting rid of the things that trigger your obsessive feelings.
What’s triggering them? Are you spending hours looking through his social media feed? If so, it’s time to get rid of it. Delete him or just unfollow him so he doesn’t pop up every time you check your feed.
Distancing yourself from these triggers can help you regain some control over your thoughts and feelings.
The less access you have to the stuff that makes you want to obsess over him, the less you’ll end up thinking about him.
2. Stay busy
The less time you have to think about him, the better. You need to create some distance between the two of you.
So get busy. Go hang out with friends and take up some new hobbies along with keeping up with your old ones.
Find a way to keep your mind occupied so it doesn’t keep defaulting to thoughts about that guy.
Doing this can not only help you maintain your own life, but it’ll also force your mind to push back thoughts of him and prioritize other things over him.
3. Realize how desperate you look
Sometimes all you need is a firm slap in the face from reality. Take a look in the mirror and realize what you’re doing and how you look to this guy.
Maybe you want to forget him and move on but maybe you want to start something special with him. Either way, your obsessive behavior is a huge turn off and you’re coming across as desperate and needy.
Once you realize how you look, it can help you put things into perspective so you can start being yourself again.
4. Get some help from friends
You have friends for a reason. They’re there to help you when things get rough and while you might feel great, things are certainly not smooth sailing from an outsider’s perspective.
Talk to your friends. Tell them you need to know how to stop obsessing over a guy.
They can help keep you busy while also offering advice based on their experience or just from a different perspective.
5. Stop talking to him
Chances are, you’re in contact with him pretty regularly. Either stop or cut it back depending on the nature of your relationship.
You just can’t be talking to him all the time if you want the obsessing to stop. Always having him available to chat with will only make things worse and you’ll just spiral out of control.
So when should you text him if you still want to talk? Make a point to wait until he talks to you first if you’re trying to get with him.
And if you’re trying to forget about him, just delete his number and any means of messaging him you have.
It’ll be much easier to control your obsessive thoughts when he’s not influencing you so much.
Having all those new, exciting feelings for a guy is normal and perfectly fine.
The trouble arises when you don’t know how to stop obsessing over a guy and end up losing sight of your own life.