When it comes to our main needs, men and women have been designed slightly differently. In a relationship, there are some things that men want but will never tell you, one of them being respect.
Men thrive on respect while women crave love and affection more. Now don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying that women don’t want to be respected.
They do. But it’s men who have been built to use their respect for one another to establish their position in the mating hierarchy. That’s why this is one of their deepest inner needs and paramount to their happiness and fulfillment in marriage. And when women don’t realize how important respect to our men is, that’s when the problems start.
We’re usually quick to criticize, nag and belittle our husbands without thinking that that kind of behavior could have serious consequences on our husbands’ self-esteem and consequently the marriage itself. So it’s time to turn a new leaf and learn how to respect your husband more and criticize less.
Here are 7 great ways to show how much you value and appreciate your husband every day.
1. Be Respectful Around Other People
You probably know at least one couple who can’t seem to leave their problems at home and always drag out their dirty laundry in front of everyone. Don’t be that couple.
When you’re around your friends, family or colleagues, make sure you stay polite and respectful to your husband, no matter what’s going on at home. If you’re having problems at that moment, don’t give other people the pleasure of seeing the drama.
Your marriage is nobody else’s business and your problems are a private matter that should be dealt with when you two are alone.
On the other hand, if everything is going well, don’t be afraid to show the whole world just how much you’re proud to have this man as your husband.
2. Show Him How Much You Appreciate Him
Nowadays, the chances are that both you and your husband are working and providing for the family.
And, just like you, he constantly worries and wants to make sure you have a warm home, food on the table every day and your kids have everything they need. So show your hubby how much you appreciate everything he’s doing for the family.
Let him know that he’s not alone in the fight to create a great life for all of you, and assure him that you have his back no matter what. We may be way past the time when the wife was supposed to keep the house spotless and wait for her husband to come home from work.
But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t pamper your beloved husband every so often and give him the special treatment after he’s had a tough day.
3. Give Him Attention And Affection
After years of marriage, we tend to get consumed by our hectic lives and start neglecting what’s truly important.
We’re always multitasking, worrying about something, following the same routine day in and day out. And in that chaos of life, couples drift apart. But this is not irreparable. You just need to learn how to focus on what really matters.
Try this: Whenever your husband wants to talk to you, give him your full attention. Look at him and participate in the conversation.
Don’t think about the next chore on your schedule or start doing something else while you’re talking.
And a pro tip: Always leave time for intimacy and affection. No matter how busy or nervous you are, make sure to kiss or hug your husband at least once a day.
4. Don’t Bash Him In Front Of Your Friends
Raise your hand if you’ve ever done this. You get angry at your husband for whatever small or big thing he did, and then you go to your girlfriends and vent. We all do it. But most women don’t know the difference between venting and bashing, and they end up crossing the line.
Next thing you know, you’re sharing some private details that really should stay only between you and your husband and saying some ugly things you can’t take back.
At the end of it all, you just feel bad and you know you shouldn’t have said all those things. The thing with bashing is that your friends don’t know your husband the way you do. They don’t know all his virtues and strengths.
They only see him through your angry eyes and fuel that anger more.
So embrace the no bashing policy. Respect your husband even when he’s not there.
5. Focus On His Virtues
When you’re nervous and irritable, it’s easy to focus on your partner’s faults and imperfections and find a reason to pick a fight.
I know I’ve been guilty of it more than once, and we’ve all been there. But don’t let this bad mood turn into a habit.
You need to stop finding reasons to point out your husband’s negative side and start focusing on his virtues more often.
Praise him whenever he does something great, like fixing something around the house or cooking a wonderful meal.
Tell him how much you admire all his good sides, his strength, his parenting skills, his sense of humor, and everything else that you love about him.
6. Approach Conflict Calmly And Respectfully
Even if you’ve married your soulmate, you two will sometimes disagree. But it’s important to approach conflict rationally, calmly and respectfully.
Whatever you are mad about, try to acknowledge the problem and discuss it with your husband until you find a solution. Even when you fight, fight fair. Try to refrain from bad language, insults, and hurtful words.
Nothing good comes out of that. It doesn’t help solve the problem and it just deepens the conflict.
7. Encourage His Professional Life And Interests
A man’s career is one of the biggest parts of his life, and you need to understand and respect that. If he is passionate about his career, that’s always a good thing. Encourage him and take interest in that part of his life.
Ask him about work, support him and celebrate his accomplishments. The same goes for his interests. Both you and your husband will be much happier if you have your own interests.
Encourage your husband to pursue his interests and give him the space to do the things he loves.
In the end, learning how to respect your husband is not rocket science. All you need to do is try to understand your man as best as you can and treat him the same way you want to be treated. Respect is one of the essential pillars of marriage, and if you have it for each other even when the times get hard, your marriage will stay unbreakable.