Being cheated on by your man totally sucks.
But “sucks” doesn’t quite capture the feeling.
There won’t be a word to describe the pain.
I’d hate to confirm your worst fears but here’s the thing: If you’ve got that “crazy feeling” inside telling you he is cheating, chances are he has already been unfaithful.
The good news is that you can spot red flags that suggest your husband is cheating on you.
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The Obvious Signs: How To Know If Your Husband Is Cheating On You
Here are some indicators, divided into two categories (the obvious and the subtle) that may help you.
Below, you can find the most glaring and obvious signs that tell your man’s heart has gone astray. If you spot one or more of these tell-tale signs, it’s highly likely that he has already engaged in an affair.
1. Your sex life has suddenly became non-existent.
You used to be able to squeeze time for quickies and mini-honeymoons despite your busy schedules but, now, it looks like you’re the only one wondering why you haven’t been intimate in bed together lately.
Consider trying some naughty sex moves to surprise your man if it’s just a little stale in the bedroom, rather than signs of him cheating.
When you try to get his attention, he acts like you’re either totally weird or inexplicably horny. When he does pay attention to you, ask that he finds time so you can sit down together and talk.
2. He has been missing in action.
He used to be home right after work, finding time to bond with you and the kids (if any) but now, he’s either with his buddies or working overtime. When you attempt to get his attention, he ignores you.
Calmly ask him what’s wrong. If he responds, be sure to listen to understand him, not to respond.
3. Your joint credit card statements reflect charges that don’t make sense.
If you notice anything from a merchant he would not normally make a purchase from, say, Victoria’s Secret, it’s another sign that your man is cheating on you.
Ask him about it using a non-accusatory tone of voice. His response and how he answers will tell you if he is cheating or not.
4. He has regularly picked up fights with you lately.
Realize that he is like this because he wants to find a way to be mad at you so he can storm out of the house and be with a “special friend”. Or it could be because of the guilt that’s eating him inside.
Remain calm when he gets upset and argumentative. Don’t raise your voice or try to make him stay inside your home. Give him the space he needs.
5. He talks about ending the relationship with you during heated arguments.
If he does this, know that he has thought about it and may probably end it because he’s already with someone else. Don’t fight back when he challenges you. Just stick to letting him know how much you value your marriage but that he’s free to walk out if he doesn’t feel the same.
The Subtle Signs: Your Husband Could Be Cheating On You
The following signs are subtle so it can be quite hard to prove he’s been unfaithful. Even so, these are some red flags that could mean your relationship is in trouble.
6. He is working longer hours than usual.
He could just be working harder for your family. Or it could be because he’s not really at work even though he says he is. It’s best to ask him. If you can’t get him to talk to you and he resorts to stonewalling you, be suspicious.
7. He is paying more attention to his physical appearance.
It could just be him trying to look good and feel good about himself. But if he doesn’t spend any of his time with you, be wary. It’s highly likely that he’s dressing up for someone else.
If he’s usually the expressive type, telling you he loves you through text messages, calls, and in person, you know there’s something wrong if he’s suddenly inexpressive.
He could be dealing with a personal issue he doesn’t want to bother you about. He could be stressed at work. But if none of these ring true, you know he’s stopped being affectionate because he doesn’t love you anymore.
9. He suddenly wants adventure.
He’s joined a biking or mountain club and is out of the house all the time. This isn’t a bad thing if he’s bored and is just looking to unwind. Also, if he’s told you about it beforehand, it means that he is still interested in what you have to say.
10. He seems distracted and exhausted.
On the occasions that he’s with you and the kids, does he look present but his mind seems absent? After work, does he go straight to bed without even eating a meal with you?
If so, this could mean two things. It could just be the daily stresses of his professional life taking a toll on him or it could be worse: he could be engaging in an affair.
Win Your Cheating Husband Back
There is no easy way to get a cheating husband back but you can try by initiating a talk with him first.
If he takes the time, you may have just found a way to save your marriage after cheating while you still can. If he doesn’t and he continues to act like it’s no big deal, your gut is correct: he is cheating on you.
It’s best to seek a professional’s help when you know it’s something you can’t deal with on your own.
Always remember that you will survive whatever happens.
Be strong and stay strong. You got this.