How To Give A Handjob: The Definitive Guide  - Romancoholic

How To Give A Handjob: The Definitive Guide 

woman ready to give a handjob

When it comes to sex acts, the handjob is often underrated and usually not executed properly.

Understandably, because of this, it gets a bad reputation.

But if you can pull off a proper handjob, you can leave him speechless and always wanting more.

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Learning How to Give a Handjob

Us ladies don’t have schlongs. We have no idea what a handjob feels like and for that reason, learning how to give a good one isn’t very easy.

However if you focus on learning how to do it from your man’s signals and directions, the process is much easier and you’re more likely to give him what he wants.

Watch how he handles himself

There’s nothing wrong with watching your man get himself off. It can even be kind of erotic.

Obviously, don’t try to sneak up on him while he’s in the shower having fun but you can suggest something a little naughty in order to do this.

Ask him if he just wants to watch you pleasure yourself and vice versa. Seeing how he touches himself will show you exactly what he likes, because he knows better than anyone what feels good.

So watch closely and even ask why certain movements feel good. You really want to pay attention to the pacing and amount of pressure he’s using, as those will be most useful to you.

Ask him how to do it

If you want to know what makes your man feel good, just ask him. A lot of you might be really shy and will think it’s odd, but it’s really the best way to know and he won’t mind at all, even if you think he might.

He’ll be more focused on the fact that you want him to feel good. Imagine if a guy asked you just how you like to be touched. It’s sexy.

It shows him that you’re willing to put in the work to give him pleasure. That’s hot.

Ask what he likes

This is sort of similar to asking him how to do it, but it should be focused more on what he specifically likes most. Not just how to move your hand on him but rather, what else gets him going.

Should you whisper in his ear? Use two hands? Touch yourself while you’re doing it?

Ask him what stuff he likes. Be confident about it, too. You can even make this really hot and use it as foreplay.

Lean into him and whisper this question in his ear. Make it sexy and he’ll definitely find it alluring.

Put your hand over his

Sometimes you can’t really pick up all the information you need to just by him telling you what to do. If that’s the case, let him guide you.

Put your hand on top of his and let him show you. This can help you know how much pressure to use, how far down his shaft to go, and how fast or slow he likes it.

You can even make a game out of this. He teaches you first, then you teach him.

It’s a great way the both of you can get what you want.

Pay attention to what gets a good reaction

Knowing how to give a handjob has a lot to do with paying attention to what gets a great reactions from your man.

If you’re doing something and he’s not making noises or showing that it feels great, you’ll know to try something else.

His face will tell you more than you need to know about how you’re doing. Watch him.

Pay attention to his body language too. Does he writhe his hips into your hands? If so, you’re doing something right.

Note what’s working and what isn’t. Remember what you did that he liked and then do it again the next time.

Watch where else he touches himself

handjob

Guys don’t just have one erogenous zone. Sure, their penis is the prime location but being touched elsewhere still feels great and can even add to a handjob.

Watch where else he touches himself. Many guys have sensitive nipples, for example.

What is he doing with his hands? Pay attention and then mimic some of those touches when you’re giving him a hand job.

If he reacts well, then keep doing it. You’ll remember what works for next time.

When and Where to Give a Handjob

Handjobs aren’t something you can do every single time you get frisky.

There’s a time and a place for giving him something like this and here’s when you should do it.

When you don’t want to have sex

We’re not always in the mood when our men are. They can be ready to have sex but you’re just not really feeling it. That’s fine.

Instead of having sex, just give him a handjob. It’s a great way to get the job done without having to strip down and actually have sex.

So the next time your man is feeling frisky but you’re just not really in the mood, offer a handjob and make it a great one!

While driving

While he’s driving, reach over and just start getting naughty. Although this can be a little risky, it could also add to the pleasure, too.

From the front seat, all you have to do is initiate it. Ask him if he wants to get a little daring with you. The allure of doing something so open will be intriguing to him.

Just be careful, and don’t get caught.

At the movies, if you like taking risks

This might seem a little cliché, but that’s also just the fun of it. Go to the movies, sit in the back row, and have a little fun.

Doing this is made a lot easier if you go to a movie that’s been out for a while. That way, not many people will be in the theater. You can also bring a blanket or just throw your coat over him so he’s not exposed to a prying eye.

This is a great option for the movies because it involves the least amount of undressing.

In the shower

Having sex in the shower is always fun but if you’re just not feeling it, a handjob can be even better.

You’re already wet and in the shower together. There are plenty of lubricants all around you and within reach.

You can even surprise your man by hopping in his shower in the morning and treating him to something fun.

It can be made even more erotic simply because you’re naked, wet, and rubbing up against him. It’s just the perfect time to place to wrap your hands around him and get to work.

While having a lazy morning

Not every morning calls for sex before breakfast. Sometimes you might be feeling intimate but not really ready for full-on sex just yet.

When you’re half asleep but your man wakes up ready to go, sometimes the best option is a handjob. You’re already lying together. All you really need to do is reach over and help him out.

It’s even great for getting a start to a lazy morning since it requires effort, but not too much.

During that time of the month

You know what I’m talking about. Some guys don’t mind having sex during that time of the month, which is nice.

But if your man isn’t into it, giving him a handjob to hold him over is super effective.

Plus, it’s nice to switch things up for him. Normally, if you’re both in the mood, you’re not likely to give him a handjob. So even if you are horny but you’re on your period, a handjob is your best bet.

It’s less messy and you’re still pleasing your man even if your lady bits are preoccupied with reproductive things.

How to Tease Him With a Handjob

If you’re both not into doing handjobs to completion, they can still be amazing for foreplay.

You can tease your man and make him beg for your body with some of these tips.

Touch him everywhere but his member

By now, you should probably have a handle on his erogenous zones. Where can you touch him that really gets him going?

You have to be thinking about that when it comes to teasing him with a handjob. It’s not always just about touching him where he wants it most and then taking that sensation away.

One of the best things you can do is touch him in all the places he loves, except that one place. Refuse to touch him there for a long time and he’ll want it the most.

Whisper sexy things in his ear

sexy woman whisper

If you really want to get him going, lean into his ear and whisper naughty things. Tell him all the things you want to do to him.

Focus on describing things you know he really likes. Paint a picture in his head and then slowly start to act on some of those things. Make him beg for that final release and for you to touch him in that one special place.

Then, when you finally do put your hands on him to give him a handjob, it’ll feel way better than he could’ve imagined.

Do some dirty talk

Get a little creative and do some dirty talk. If you’re not really familiar with it or are very shy, just start out slow. Tell him what you want to do to him and how you want him to feel.

Then tell him what you want from him. Even hearing those things will be enough to get him going.

The key with dirty talk is to have confidence. Say what you want with conviction and then act on those words. Show him that you mean what you say.

Go slow

Anticipation is quite possibly the best thing for teasing. So move as slow as you can. Obviously, this move only works if you have all the time in the world to fool around.

Going slow allows you to focus on his erogenous zones and give attention to every part of him.

It also makes him excited for what’s to finally come. Plus, if you move slowly, he won’t know when you’re about to wrap your hands around his favorite part. The anticipation will drive him wild.

Stop/start

This tactic can be really fun for the both of you. Once you finally get to the handjob part, work on stopping and starting again.

Get him feeling really good, and then take it away and focus on another part of him.

He’ll go crazy, but in a good way. Giving him those great feelings and then making him beg for them back is teasing him in the best way.

He’ll never want you to stop again.

Touch him all over

When your body is geared up for sex, it’s a lot more sensitive. And not just in your genital area, either.

That means when your man is ready to go and you’re about to give him a handjob, his whole body is just begging to be touched.

Don’t only give your attention to his wood.

Touch him everywhere. Run your hands through his hair and give it a little tug.

Scratch his back and just focus on touching him. Feel him.

It’ll be the best and worst tease of his life.

Touch yourself

That’s right! You don’t have to make a handjob all about him getting pleasure.

You can help yourself, too. You have two hands, after all.

Put one on him and the other on yourself. Even if you’re not touching him, the visual of you pleasuring yourself will tease him more than you know.

He’ll want to get in on some of that and not allowing him will be like torture.

He’ll be desperate to get his hands on you and for you to get your hands on him, too.

Writhe against him

While you’re about to give him a handjob, just put your body against his and do what feels good. Touching him all over is going to leave you a little horny, too.

Don’t hold back. Let your body do what it wants and grind against him. That sensation and the knowledge of what you’re doing is going to torment him in the sexiest possible way.

He won’t be able to keep his hands off of you. If you do this in addition to touching him all over without giving him a handjob right away, he’ll go nuts once you finally do.

How to Give a Sexy Handjob

Not all handjobs are created equal. In fact, they can be extremely awkward and not pleasurable unless you take these steps to make it sexy as hell.

Grab it firmly

Don’t be afraid to use some force. He’s not all that fragile. Now, you obviously don’t want to grab it so hard it feels like you’ll tear it off, but don’t be afraid to change up the pressure of your grip.

So make sure you have a strong hold. This also allows you to change the pressure later on to something more gentle.

The point with this is to just go for it. Sometimes, more pressure and roughness can be extremely sexy.

As long as you don’t go overboard, it’ll feel great to him.

Use some lube

lube

Firstly, lube should just be involved anyway. It makes it feel better and the friction from flesh against flesh is reduced when there’s something in between.

Grab some lube, and load it up. When he’s really slick, your hand can easily glide over it, whereas without lube, it’s a little more difficult and can cause him some pain.

Plus, there’s just something really sexy about the feeling of wetness all over him. You can use more pressure and speed without it being painful for him, too.

Find a lube you both like and use it up!

Go slowly at first

Remember what was mentioned about anticipation? It’s incredibly sexy. Slow things down so you’re not giving him what he wants right away.

It’s like a power struggle. He wants you to touch him harder and faster but you’re the one in control, so he has to sit back and let you do your thing.

The thing with this is that he wants you to do more and get him off. That’s the goal.

By slowing it down and making him almost beg for it, you’re reestablishing who’s really in control.

And you being in control is often very arousing to him.

Change up your speed

There’s nothing worse than a handjob that’s just the same pace the entire time. It gets boring. Where’s the excitement in there?

You have to change things up. Just like when you’re having sex you like different positions and speeds more, your man likes those differences when you’re giving him a handjob.

Don’t forget to slow it down after going fast for a while. When you do slow down, you can even increase the pressure so it’s slow, but it’s harder.

These little differences can be really sexy and it also adds to anticipation of finishing.

Use two hands

Handjobs can be done with more than one hand. Many women get caught up in making sure they’re doing it like a guy would do it on himself. That’s not your goal.

You want to seduce him and give him a new experience.

Yes, he knows the sensation of a handjob. He does it to himself often, probably. What you need to give him is a new twist on something familiar.

And to do that, you can use two hands and actually twist. Place both hands on him and use a twisting motion as you move up and down.

If you can’t fit your full hands, let a couple fingers of each hand go. This way, it’s still a handjob, but it’s something he probably doesn’t feel very often.

Get creative with using two hands and it’ll be very sexy.

Ask him what he likes best

You might be wondering how this can be sexy. Well, firstly, the fact that you’re asking him at all is alluring.

Many girls don’t bother and do what they think is best and mess it up.

This way, you’re showing him you care about his pleasure. You want to do it right. That’s very sexy.

Secondly, you can do it in a very sexy way. Grab his member, lean in close, and whisper in his ear.

Ask him how he wants you to touch him. Let him take control while you’re the one doing what he says.

See? It can be very hot.

Enjoy it

Many guys don’t necessarily like handjobs not because they don’t feel good, but because they’re worried their woman isn’t enjoying herself.

I mean, you’re not getting any pleasure unless he’s touching you, right?

So it’s understandable he’s concerned. Your job, if you want to make this hand job really sexy, is to enjoy it. Show him you’re having a good time.

Say naughty things, make pleasurable noises. Don’t just stare off into the distance like you’re bored.

Be into it and be present while doing it and he’ll find it super erotic.

How to Give the Best Handjob of His Life

If you want to take your handjob from just good or average to one he won’t be able to forget, this is what you’ll want to do.

Be attentive

Just be present. Be aware of what’s going on and how he’s reacting. If you just sit there and move your hand up and down until he’s done, it won’t be all that great.

Sure, he might get off, but it won’t really be more exciting that when he does it himself.

You have to be aware of what’s going on. Engage with him. Dirty talk while you’re doing it.

Add to the sensations other than just switching up your hand speed.

If you’re in the moment, it’ll also be a lot more fun for you too.

The bottom line is to interact with him in ways other than just with your hands.

Communicate what he likes

This is really easy to do with some dirty talk. Just ask him if he “likes that.” Make sure he lets you know if he doesn’t like something, either.

You can easily do this by asking him if he likes what you’re doing. Asking questions is a perfect way to get someone to open up and tell you what they want.

Your man is no different. Get him talking. You can even do this afterward, too.

Ask him what he liked best and what he wanted some more of. That way, the next time you give him a handjob, you’ll know exactly what to do.

Have fun with it yourself

The one thing that’s going to make your man remember the handjob you give him versus all the others he’s had in his lifetime is how you react to it. You have to be having fun!

If you’re having a good time, he will too. If you sit there bored and detached from the process, it won’t be much fun for him.

You really should be putting forth some effort to enjoy it. You’re making him happy and causing him to feel euphoric sensations.

That’s something you should really get into.

Allowing yourself to enjoy how you’re making him feel will make it a unique experience for him. One he definitely won’t forget.

Be verbal

You don’t have to sit there quiet and uncomfortable while giving him pleasure.

Part of the fun when it comes to giving handjobs is getting into it. Tell him how much you like when he moans.

Give him some dirty talk and be sexy about it. Just be verbal and that’ll make the entire process way more pleasurable.

When you’re quiet and you just sit there, he might grow uncomfortable. He might assume you’re not having fun and that lessens his own joy.

So be verbal and even moan here and there while touching yourself.

Try something new

Don’t just do the same things over and over again every time you give a handjob.

What’ll make yours stand out is what you do differently and what’s new to him.

That means you have to try new things every once in a while. Use two hands instead of just one. Use a twisting motion as apposed to just going up and down.

Or do a combination of the two. What you should be focusing on is doing something unique and different.

Don’t just give him a boring handjob he could recreate himself.

Give his balls some attention

Now, you have to be careful with this one because some guys really don’t like their balls being touched. However, you don’t know unless you try.

This could very well be the game changer for him. While giving him a handjob, gently squeeze his balls. Pull them down a little bit. Just give them some attention.

Always be careful as his balls are one of the most sensitive to pain parts of his body.

Most guys don’t get their balls played with nearly enough and some of them might like it a lot.

If you’re worried he might not like it, just ask if it’s something he’s into. He’ll be pretty open about it if he doesn’t like it. If he’s not sure, you can experiment together.

Adding this sensation to a handjob can make a world of difference.

Describe one of his fantasies

If you really want to make this handjob unique and incredible, describe one of his fantasies.

Use your own words. Whisper those naughty things in his ear and make him envision it’s really happening to him.

Your words can be really powerful if you use them well. Obviously, you’ll need to know what his fantasy is before you can do this.

But if you already know what his wildest dream is, use it to your advantage.

Dress up as in one of his fantasies

sexy woman roleplay

This is taking things to a whole new level. Even if it’s just a handjob, getting dressed up and making one of his fantasies come to life will be something he’ll never forget.

But don’t just dress up and be done with it. You have to actually act it out, too. If he likes schoolteachers, pretend he’s been a bad student.

The one thing to remember here is to have some confidence. It’ll be really hard to pull off if you’re second-guessing everything you do.

If you’re going to do this, then do it in full.

Practice often

Nothing can make you get better at handjobs like practicing. I’m sure your man will have no complaints with this, either.

Just give him handjobs more often. Guys tend to have a higher libido than women anyway.

When he’s in the mood and you’re not, help him out a bit. Doing it more often will help you learn what he likes best and how to make it more exciting.

Just don’t allow yourself to fall into the same old handjob routine. That can get stale and boring really easily. Keep trying new things and keep it fresh every time.

Handjob Tips from Men

There’s no one better to tell you how to give a good handjob than men themselves:

Don’t try to give a dry handjob

This is coming straight from a guy, himself. Don’t try to give him a handjob when your hands are dry. It doesn’t feel good and it doesn’t really work that well.

If you don’t have lube, guys suggest using saliva. Just get some lubrication of some kind on there so it’s not just dry friction.

That can actually irritate him a lot more than you realize. He might not even realize it at first, either.

But afterwards, it could be red, or raw, and it won’t feel good. So use some lube, even lotion is better than nothing.

Change pressure

The amount of pressure you use when giving a handjob is really important. The tricky thing about this is that the amount you use will depend on the guy. Some like it harder, others like it softer.

However, almost all guys can agree that changing the amount of pressure you use a few times throughout the handjob does make a difference.

It’s all about keeping things interesting, really.

Guys agree that without a little more of something different, the handjob can get boring. It becomes monotonous, which isn’t fun for anyone.

Focus slightly on the tip

The majority of a guy’s nerve endings in this region are in the tip.

No, you shouldn’t focus solely on the tip but it’s a great place to direct focused attention here and there throughout the handjob.

If you’ve watched your man get off you’ll notice a trend when they finish. They tend to give the tip a bit more attention and linger there. That’s because it feels the best.

Guys agree that while you shouldn’t only work on the tip the entire time, some specific attention to it feels amazing and will really satisfy him.

Don’t act bored

You’ve read this a couple of times now but guys are very adamant about this part in particular.

If you act bored or like you’re not enjoying yourself, the handjob will be bad.

That’s just how it is.

Imagine if a guy was fingering you and not even paying attention or worse, yawning and looking elsewhere the whole time.

That wouldn’t be fun for you. So why do this to guys? If you’re going to give a handjob, be enthused about it. Get excited.

Make some noise and show him it’s just as fun for you as it is for him.

Sure, it might not be sexually pleasurable, but you are making him feel good.

Use two hands and twist

This sensation in particular was highlighted as being something most guys enjoy across the board.

Why? Because it’s not really something they can do themselves, not in the way you can.

Giving a handjob is seen, inaccurately, as pointless by a lot of women. We think guys won’t like it because they could just do it themselves. However, that’s just not true.

Think about it. You can just touch yourself and finger yourself, right? But it feels so much better when someone else does it for you. Plus, you can’t always use your hands in the way someone else can.

See? It’s the same for guys. Use both hands, and twist them while moving up and down. He’ll love it.

Use variation

Don’t just do the same thing over and over again. As mentioned before, this is super boring. Guys don’t want you to just sit there yanking on them without changing things up.

It won’t feel as good this way. You have to try new things and mix up your technique.

This is a fantastic way to not only make it more enjoyable, but also see what your man likes best.

You’ll never learn his preferences if you don’t try some new stuff.

Unless previously discussed, leave the butt alone

You should absolutely aim to try new things, but unless you’ve already discussed butt stuff, leave it alone.

Don’t venture anywhere near there unless you’ve both talked it through.

It’s not like the balls. You can’t just try and see if it goes well. Stay away. Some guys really, really don’t like that at all. He might get super turned off immediately.

And while some guys do like it, you’re better off discussing something that sensitive before diving right in.

Use some toys

Guys aren’t afraid of toys. Sure, some might not like them that much but you can always try. Talk about it and decide if it’d be fun for the two of you.

You can use some on you and you can even use some on him. Get a cock ring and use that to make the handjob a little more exciting.

Using a toy on yourself can help you get a little more into the act of giving a handjob if it’s not all that fun for you.

You can even let him use the toy on you to add another level to the handjob.

Restrain his hands

This is a fun little game that most guys would totally be into. When you don’t allow them to touch you, it adds to the kink a little bit.

Naturally, guys who are into getting a handjob from you would like to feel your body while doing so. When you deny him that, it makes the want a little stronger.

It’s like when you tie someone’s hands to the bedpost. It’s really hot and he’ll want to touch you all the more for it. It’ll make the entire experience sexier.

Guys like this because it makes the handjob more interesting and way naughtier.

Look at him

Ladies, you might not like to hear this one but the guys all want you to know!

Look at him. Many girls think it’s awkward or something to not look at their man while giving them a handjob.

And while that’s understandable, looking him in the eyes every now and then can be really erotic.

You obviously don’t want to just stare at him the whole time, but don’t hide away from him either.

It makes him feel disconnected and as if you don’t want to really be doing it. So look at him and make it seductive. Give him a sexy smile.

Let him know you’re enjoying his O face, too.

There’s a multitude of different ways you can be giving handjobs. The best way to go about it is to get to know your man better.

Ask what he likes, and then experiment in order to keep it exciting and fun.

And if you want even more specific, expert advice than I’ve shared above, head over to Stroke of Genius.

You’ll learn the step-by-step method that takes a man from zero to 100, and all down to what you’re doing.

Because a man who is sexually satisfied by one woman will never, ever leave that woman.

So capture his heart, forever. But learn what it takes first.

I suggest starting with the great tips above, but for those of you who are serious, Stroke of Genius is where you need to be.

But don’t wait around, wasting time.

Visit Stroke of Genius now.

About the author

Bella Pope

Bella is a lifestyle and online marketing writer, cheese enthusiast (Wisconsin native over here), Writing Youtuber, and fantasy adventure author-in-progress who enjoys all things dog, pizza, and writing related.