This is a really tough time for you.
So much love, so much investment, and all of a sudden… it’s gone.
Finding yourself suddenly single is like taking a punch to the gut. No matter how many times it has happened before.
Yet we tend to go through breakups as if they’re always the first, and it gets even worse if we truly loved our ex.
But as dark and bleak as times may seem now, it will actually get better.
I’m sad to have to break it to you, though, but… you’re going to have to be the one responsible for lifting yourself back up.
What you’ll do is pick yourself up, wipe the tears off those pretty cheeks, and read carefully what I’m about to share.
Let yourself cry your eyes out
Well, maybe don’t wipe those tears right away.
When you’re still hung up on your ex, and love is fresh in your heart, of course you’ll want to do nothing but cry all day.
And that is the one step you can’t skip. Absolutely bawl your eyes out. It’s a good way to vent.
An afternoon of sleep interspersed with crying sessions and cheesy rom-coms is a guiltless coping mechanism and no one should convince you otherwise.
It’s better to get rid of those feelings physically through crying, than to bottle it all up and feel like a Molotov cocktail ready to explode at the presence of the smallest flame.
There’s no point in dwelling on the past
The end of your grieving phase should also be the end of constant second-guessing.
What you could’ve done different, if there was a way it all could’ve ended on a happier note… these are all thoughts you’ll have to leave behind, once you’ve satisfied yourself that you’ve answered these questions.
The healing process can only begin when you stop questioning what went wrong.
Don’t get stuck in the twisted loop of self-doubt, regret and guilt.
Give your friends the liberty to interrupt you when you go off on a tangent about the breakup, or have them send you funny, motivational texts every day.
Let them help.
Make an ex-box
Another way to leave past behind is to make a box with all of your ex’s things.
Everything that reminds you of him, from the shirt he left behind to your photos together, goes in the box.
You don’t need to be dramatic and burn it all, simply put the box somewhere out of your sight.
However, if there are reminders of him anywhere in your home, you may never be able to move on. So this one is at your discretion.
Friends are wonderful creatures
Now that you have him out of sight, it’s time to get him out of your mind.
Friends and family can be a great support after a particularly tough breakup.
And while it’s okay to open yourself up to them, try not to retell the story of the breakup and how depressed you feel.
It will only “reheat” emotions you should be cooling off right now.
Schedule more coffees, clubbing, and family time. You can even go on “dates” with your besties!
You’ll see how much more fun it’ll turn out to be for both you and your friends, as you make up for all the lost time.
Don’t become a rebound junkie
Misery seeks company.
Sadly, on women, the smell of desperation is so strong that men pick it up miles away.
One or two rebounds can do wonders for your self-esteem and help you get over your ex.
But the more you start picking up guys at the club, you’ll soon run out of clubs and bars to pick them up from.
Instead of gaining self-esteem, you’ll wind up in a whirlpool of morning regrets and short-lived highs of the one-night stand.
Get yourself back on track
Getting over your ex largely depends on how you fill your free time.
As I mentioned, one way is to spend it with family and friends.
And getting a hobby, or finally starting something you were always passionate about, might just help that feeling of emptiness after a breakup.
Learn how to play the guitar, learn a new language, or start painting, exercising…. do the things you always wanted to.
Take some risks and form a new, improved you.
Reassess how you feel after a while
After some time, go back to that ex-box you put away.
Go through it, and see how you feel.
An even better indicator of whether or not you’re over him is to observe your own behavior every time you hear something new about him.
Have you seen any new Facebook statuses from him?
Seen him out with a new woman?
Whichever emotion comes flooding back first will tell you how well you’re handling getting over your ex.
What if you still can’t forget him?
If you find it growing more difficult to forget about him as more time passes, then it’s not about getting over him.
It’s about getting him back.
When you feel like you lost your boyfriend, best friend, and soul mate, and that you’ll never find someone like him again.
Don’t start despairing just yet. The battle isn’t lost. In fact, it’s only just beginning.
The sad, hard truth is…
Life does go on.
Just like the movies so “cheesily” say…
Whether you manage to get over your boyfriend, or decide to win him back, the choice is ultimately yours.
But you must keep in mind that breakups are a normal part of life.
A stage that happens, that you can get over, and move on with your life.
Nothing lasts forever, and neither will these post breakup blues.
And when you know in your heart that you and he should be together, You’ll discover how to win him back and how to get your life back on track.