It feels like a punch to the gut, doesn’t it?
That moment when you could swear you felt your heart shatter to pieces.
During this time, it can seem as if the heartbreak will never stop hurting.
You’ll feel disappointed, and angry at everyone and everything, for a long time.
But trust me when I say that just like everything in life, this too will pass.
Today I’m going to talk about how to get over heartbreak even when you feel like there is no silver lining.
Know that feeling is okay
We are often confronted with the idea that feeling a certain way is unhealthy or wrong.
For example, that you don’t have the right to be sad, because someone else has it worse than you. Or that this is a very dangerous way to think.
However, we have very little control over how we’re going to feel about certain things.
More often than not, it’s the only freedom we get when unexpected events hit.
So allow yourself to be taken aback, and don’t try to play tough.
It’s normal (and even healthy) to get angry, bawl your eyes out, and want to be alone for days.
But acting on your feelings is a whole other deal
While you shouldn’t feel guilty for wanting to bash his face in, or to call him to beg for another chance, doing these things is a different story.
Even though emotions are not under our control, the way we react to them is.
Feeling like the world is ending, but still mustering up the strength to go to work and interact with other people is a good example of how to handle bad feelings.
Allowing yourself to spend days eating tubs of ice cream, junk food, and binging on Netflix alone in your bedroom is a bad way to deal with your emotions.
You’ve got to learn to turn these emotions into something positive and productive.
Cut off all contact with him
A more useful step towards getting over heartbreak is to stop contacting the guy.
Delete his number, don’t ask his friends how he’s doing, and stop visiting his Facebook page.
In this instance, absence doesn’t make the heart grow fonder.
It will take some time, but you will start to notice that the fewer reminders there are of him, the more you will start to heal.
Just be patient.
Challenge your internal negativity
You can easily slip into a whirlwind of questions such as:
What did I do wrong? Could I have done something differently? What is wrong with me? Am I not good enough?Will he come back?
And while they’re not all too uncommon, negative thoughts shouldn’t be allowed to reign over you.
Challenge them. Analyze them. Talk to a friend about them.
Find out why you feel this way by approaching the negativity like a psychologist, and see how much quicker you recover from the grieving phase.
Work on self-love
You’ll start to wonder if anyone else could ever love you.
And while the fear is a gross exaggeration, it’s not unfounded. After all, we are animals who usually pair-off for life.
These thoughts come from our lack of self-love.
Learning to love yourself first will actually make it easier to get over any current and future heartbreak, because you’ll know you can always rely on and count on yourself first.
You won’t need the external validation.
Hunter S. Thompson said it best:
“We are all alone, born alone, die alone, and—in spite of True Romance magazines—we shall all someday look back on our lives and see that, in spite of our company, we were alone the whole way. I do not say lonely—at least, not all the time—but essentially, and finally, alone. This is what makes your self-respect so important, and I don’t see how you can respect yourself if you must look in the hearts and minds of others for your happiness.”
As soon as the grieving period ends, you must start looking forward.
Rekindle your passion for a hobby, reconnect with old friends, schedule more quality time with family.
Occupying your mind is crucial for heartbreak, and there is no one better to help than those close to you.
You don’t have to do something huge, either.
Even the tiniest change to your life can bring you much needed positivity. Snapchat with your friends, Instagram your favorite food, or even start a blog.
Know that life can and will surprise you
The most important thing of all is to not dismiss the odds that life (universe, karma) will come around.
In a month or two, or three, you could meet a whole new group of people, among whom could be the man of your dreams.
Or you gain some amazing new friends who introduce you to a new hobby, pastime, or way of life.
So, don’t seal yourself off from the world, no matter how tempting, or how easy it may be.
At first it’ll be hard to keep a positive outlook on life, but so much more worth it in the end.
“A girl doesn’t need anyone who doesn’t need her” – Marilyn Monroe
Marilyn Monroe went through so much heartbreak.
And the greatest one of all came not from one man, but from all the men who couldn’t see past the image Hollywood pushed onto her.
She helped other actresses realize that the world could already be unfair, cruel and full of expectations very few of us could ever meet.
Then why make it even harder for yourself, when you’re the best ally you could have?
Yes, heartbreak is tough. But remember: you are tougher!
If you are still heartbroken, you might want to focus on learning new stuff as mentioned earlier.
Focus on learning something that will boost your confidence such as dirty talking and men’s psychology.
Dirty Talking? Men’s Psychology?
Yup, you heard me.
Learning how men’s brains work will definitely increase your confidence and mixing it with the RIGHT way of dirty talking and the right body language will seal the deal.
A man that is getting what he thinks he wants, is a happy man. Knowing how to use your language to get him there, will definitely keep him around you and make him want even more.
Don’t believe me?