If you’ve made the decision to actually get back with your ex, it’s time to put a plan in place to actually win him over.
You can’t just announce that you want him back and expect him to come running. It’ll take time and you might have to work hard for it.
But it can be done if you’re willing to put in the work to make it happen.
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Make sure you’re 100% ready to give this relationship another shot and that you want to be reunited for the right reasons.
If you’re sure you’re ready, here’s how to get your ex back.
Table of Contents
1. Reconnect
The first steps in figuring out how to get your ex back can be a little complicated. You first have to consider how long you’ve been apart and how much contact you’ve maintained during that time.
Do you not talk at all? If so, you’ll have to find a way to reconnect and start up a conversation at the very least.
The best thing to do in this instance is to just say hi through a text. You can even send them a funny meme or picture that reminded you of them.
The bottom line is to just make contact in some way. Get talking so you can establish a connection again and work through that.
2. Discuss what happened
You can’t just ignore the fact that you had a breakup. Something happened to push the two of you apart and you really need to talk about it.
Getting back together just won’t work if you don’t.
When something was big enough of an issue to split you up, it’s worth discussing and figuring out how you can get back to square one from there.
That means you might have to admit when you messed up and you could have to acknowledge that both of you were at fault.
They key here is to avoid blaming. Don’t force him to apologize if he doesn’t see what he did wrong.
Instead, discuss the topic until he comes to the realization himself and even apologize yourself for some of your own faults.
Because let’s be real: the relationship usually doesn’t end because of one single thing he did. Two people can share the responsibility for it ending.
3. Light that spark again
If you’ve been disconnected for a while, you’ll need to rekindle some of those old emotions and remind him of the attraction you once shared. It’s not enough to just start talking again.
The longer you were apart, the more it could take to get things going again. You may have to do a bit of flirting in order to see if that spark is even still there.
A great thing to do is to subtly slip in some compliments while you talk. It can be over text or even just in person.
Tell them how much you admire what they’re doing now or even how much you always have.
That’s enough to make him see where you’re taking the conversation.
4. Remind him of the good times
This is by far the best way to learn how to get back with your ex. In order to make him start seeing you in that light again, you’ll want to remind him of those times.
Bring up some fun memories of the two of you together but also talk about some of the more intimate moments.
You want to get his mind thinking of you as a girlfriend again. But you want those memories to be good ones.
Get him thinking about the right things and it’ll put him in a positive mindset about you.
Bringing up bad times will only make him remember why you split up.
5. Start with one date
You can even call it a “no strings attached” date. After talking for a bit and flirting like crazy, just ask him to get a bite to eat together.
If he’s a little hesitant but things seem to be going well, just tell him it won’t mean anything if he doesn’t want it to.
That way, you’re going into the date with the ball in his court.
This will make him feel better about it and it’ll also be more appealing if he knows he won’t have to commit to you again so soon.
6. Put the option out there
So the date went well. That’s fantastic, but you can’t just jump right back into things so quickly.
You’ll want to slowly ease into things like you did the first time you started dating.
It’s not an automatic thing. But you can still put the option out there.
Tell him you’ve been thinking a lot about getting back together and want to give it another shot. Make sure to let him know that you can take it easy and just see how things go for a while first.
The less pressure he feels, the better it is for your chances of reuniting for good. Just put the option of getting back together out there and see if he bites.
7. Let him come to you
Now your job is basically done. You’ve done all you can and expressed your interest. You’ve worked out the issue and figured out how to fix things.
It’s his turn to take control now. Once you give him the option, keep your word.
Take things easy and let him plan the next date if he wants to. Try to let him take the lead when it comes to texting and initiating hangouts with you.
If he comes to you, you’ll know he wants to get back together just as much as he does.
Knowing how to get back with your ex isn’t quite as simple as it seems. There’s a lot you two have to work on if you really want your relationship to work this time around.
It’s not an easy decision to make and it’s just as difficult to get things back on track. Be ready to work for your man.
You’ll also understand that time is of the essence. The longer he’s apart from you, the less likely he’ll get back with you.
He’ll start getting used to life without you.
If you want him back, tell him, take action!