How To Apologize To Your Boyfriend When You're Wrong

How To Apologize To Your Boyfriend When You’re Wrong

woman apologizing to her boyfriend

Making a mistake and hurting your boyfriend in the process sucks.

But if you've screwed up royally and you've broke your man’s heart, the grown-up thing to do is to suck it up and apologize.

Yes, no matter how petty you think your mistake may have been, you should own up to what you did.

I know that is easier said than done so if you don't know how and where to start, read on.

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I’ve got a handy guide to share with you on how to apologize to your boyfriend when you’re wrong.

Why Apologies Are Difficult As Hell

Admitting that you’re in the wrong isn’t easy. You must first acknowledge you’ve made a mistake.

Such an acknowledgement should lead you to the next step: stepping up and apologize to your boyfriend.

Both stages require an enormous amount of courage. So I’m not surprised if you find apologies to be difficult.

But aside from this, here are three more reasons we don’t apologize even when we need to.

1. Embarrassment

When you really screw up, the embarrassment you feel can sometimes swallow you alive.

Especially if you’d rather forget the fact that you hurt your boyfriend instead of facing him and apologizing.

2. Anger

There are times when you refuse to apologize because you only hurt your boyfriend because he was the one who started it.

If this is the case, quit playing the blame game. Remember, revenge may be best served cold but what goes around comes around.

3. Pride

Finding the strength to admit you’ve messed up isn’t easy if you’re full of pride, in the biblical sense.

But once you’ve overcome the need to be right all the time, asking for forgiveness from your boyfriend will be much easier.

The antidote to these three things is simple: humility. By having a humble heart, you’ll be on your way to rebuilding your relationship with your boyfriend again.

Also, once you’ve gained the knowledge on how to understand men and how this understanding is crucial in getting him to forgive you, apologizing won’t be that much of a challenge moving forward.

Do’s and Don’ts: How To Apologize To Your Boyfriend When You’re Wrong

Before you apologize to your boyfriend, it’s crucial to be emotionally ready.

Being half-hearted about apologizing to him is not going to help.

So if you’re in doubt about your personal readiness, here are a few crucial questions to ask yourself before you apologize to him.

Are you truly sorry for having caused him pain?

Do you hold yourself accountable and responsible for what you’ve done and its consequences?

Are you ready to adjust and change things if necessary as part of smoothing out things with him?

Are you prepared to accept his rejection?

Are you willing to commit yourself to this process?

If you answer no to most of these questions, it means you’re not as ready to ask for forgiveness as you think.

On the flip side, if it’s a series of yes’s, then great! You’re ready to ask for forgiveness.

Now all you need are some tips on how to apologize to your boyfriend when you’re wrong. I’ve got nine of them for you:

1.DO show sincerity.

Faking your apology won’t cut it. It’s only going to make the situation worse.

So when apologizing, come from a place of humility. Show him how sorry you are for the mistakes you’ve committed.

Speak from the heart. Mean every word you say. Be genuine.

2. DO express your understanding of the weight of the situation.

Make your boyfriend see that you understand why you were wrong for what you did.

Show him that you have fully grasp the seriousness of the situation you created.

This is one of many ways to get him to realize you’re worthy of his forgiveness when he’s ready to grant it to you.

3. DO take full responsibility of the situation.

Acknowledge the mistakes you’ve committed. Empathize, if you think it will help.

Let him vent. If he does, listen patiently to understand and not to reply and argue.

This is how you take complete responsibility when you’ve committed a hurtful action towards him.

This is courage in its truest form and is also one of many traits that men find attractive in women.

4. DO pledge to be better one day at a time.

If you noticed, I used “pledge” instead of “promise”. The reason for this is because you’re a normal human being, prone to committing mistakes.

Yes, you don’t want to hurt him for the same reasons but, sometimes, you commit the same mistake twice.

So commit to pledging better behavior rather than promising something you may well fall short on down the line.

5. DO offer to make it up to him.

Making amends means acting to rectify and improve the circumstances, if possible.

It’s one of the key parts of the apology process. Let your boyfriend know you want to make it up to him to the best of your ability.

6. DON’T make assumptions.

Don’t assume that you fully understand how he may have felt and still feel about the situation.

Don’t assume that he’s ready to listen. Always ask questions before you make any move to avoid adding insult to injury.

7. DON’T justify your actions.

Your boyfriend won’t be interested in hearing that you didn’t mean to hurt him, that you had a reason for doing this, or that you didn’t realize such an action would hurt him.

Focus your efforts in taking full responsibility for your mistakes and making amends instead.

8. DON’T offer excuses.

You may be tempted to explain why you did this and if you are, it’s okay.

Just remember that there’s a right time for everything and offering such explanations may not work out in your favor, especially if your boyfriend’s wounds are still fresh.

9. DON’T expect to be forgiven right there and then.

Yes, you’re truly sorry. You’ve done your part. You’ll do everything to smooth things out with him.

But, still, he doesn’t owe you anything, especially forgiveness, no matter how sorry you are.

So leave the decision to him. Give him the space he needs. Allow him to forgive you in his own time.

Disagreements in relationships are inevitable. But remember, they don’t always have to lead to conflict.

And have you considered that a bit of boredom in the relationship could be making things tense?

Check out the Wrap Him Around Your Finger guide to discover how to keep him hooked on you, and how to keep the boredom out of your relationship.

About the author

Maine Bel

Maine Belonio is a twenty-something mom and writer who has a penchant for coffee, long distance running, Tolkien, Switchfoot, and Jesus.