Let’s face it: You're here because you're in an LDR and you're curious to know how often should you talk in a long distance relationship.
Yes, you already know that communication plays a major role in making LDRs survive and thrive. That’s why you both do your best to communicate consistently.
Despite this, you're wondering how often should you talk in a long distance relationship. You want to know if the kind of communication you have in your LDR is healthy and if it’s serving both of you well.
How Frequent is Frequent Communication in LDRs?
Knowing how often should you talk in a long distance relationship is one of many keys to making it work. But the question is what does the frequent in frequent communication truly mean?
Does it mean talking to each other on the phone or Skype each day? Does it mean having long distance sex regularly with the help of technology?
Does it mean sending each other text, photos, and videos throughout the day so you can keep each other updated with what’s happening in your life?
Yes, frequent communication can mean these things, in part. But to complete the equation, it means staying connected to each other in a way that feels sustainable to both of you.
Now, what does that mean exactly? Let me give you an example.
There are days when both of you are so slammed at work that you won’t have enough energy to sit in front of the computer to video chat for any length of time.
The bottom line is that it’s not about how long you’ve stayed on the phone talking. It’s about the quality, depth, and meaning of these conversations.
3 Advantages of Frequent Communication in LDRs
Having an honest, open, and meaningful conversation frequently in your LDR has many advantages. This is why successful LDR couples work hard to establish a healthy communication pattern while they’re still in the process of closing the distance.
1. You forget about the distance.
The distance that separates you and your boyfriend sucks even more when you’re feeling lonely and all you need is a hug. It’s the same when you want to go eat your favorite ice cream and he’s not around to enjoy it with you.
But if you’ve established a sustainable communication pattern, your tears and fears can be easily wiped away. You’ll feel closer even when you’re far from each other.
2. You get more creative when it comes to communicating.
Thanks to technology, you can’t be limited to video chatting through Skype to close a lot of gaps in your LDR.
There’s FaceTime and apps like Couple and Messenger. If you want to stick to listening to each other’s voice, there’s HeyTell.
There are LDR couples who are into kinky sex ideas. If you and your boyfriend are one of them, WeVibe may work for you.
The point is this: You’ll never run out of options to say “I love you.”
3. You feel more secured in your relationship.
You may have each other’s calendars so you know what you are each up to for the day.
For iPhone users, there’s the “share my location” feature which makes it easy for LDR couples to know where they’re at, eliminating the need to ask if they’re in a meeting or if they’ve landed back home safely.
Without too much talk, trust issues are crushed before they even start to develop.
3 Disadvantages of Infrequent Communication in LDRs
Now that we’re on the same page about what frequent communication is all about, let’s talk about its opposite: infrequent communication.
Infrequent communication is when consistent communication in your LDR is rare.
It’s when you “talk” but not really connect with each other. It’s having empty conversations.
You don’t open up about your personal desires, needs, problems, doubts, fears, etc. You don't talk about views on different matters surrounding your relationship.
You don't make an effort to express your feelings and flirt with each other to feel closer even where you're far apart.
These happen for various reasons but lead to the same disadvantages down the line.
1. Your LDR weakens as each day passes by.
Because you don’t have a regular schedule set up for connecting with each other, you feel more alone than ever. You feel weak and therefore you become prone to the temptations around you.
2. Miscommunication has become the norm.
You and your man deal with fights (from petty to intense) more often than usual because you misunderstand each other all the time.
If not addressed early on in your long distance relationship, this can cause you to grow apart, leading to the downfall of the relationship.
3. The flames of love stop burning.
Being physically intimate is more challenging in LDRs. But the distance should never be a reason for not working hard to keeping the sparks in your relationship burning.
By preparing sexting messages to send to your boyfriend each day or doing Skype calls regularly, taking into consideration each other’s calendars and time zone differences, you’ll be on your way to igniting passion on the regular.
You’ll also build intimacy and foster trust within the relationship despite the distance.
Communicating with your boyfriend in your LDR should only be done at a pace that you and him find doable and sustainable.
This way, both of you feel empowered and the relationship grows stronger and stronger.