Knowing when you’ve reached the point of no return in your marriage isn’t as easy as it sounds.
Many married people struggle with making the hardest decision: Should I stay in this marriage or should I go?
If you’re one of them, know that the decision you’re about to make would not only impact your personal life, it can also turn your spouse’s and kids’ (if you have any) worlds upside down in ways you never thought possible.
12 Glaring Signs That Tell Your Marriage Is Over
I can’t stress enough how important it is to rethink your decision 100 times before filing for divorce.
It’s also crucial to sit down and evaluate your marriage with your husband if it’s possible so you can both see where you’re at and where you need to be.
To help you with this, I’ve created this list of signs that tell you if your marriage is over.
If you spot any of the following signs in your marriage, you can be positive that you’re heading to Split City (and may just end up in divorce court sooner or later).
1.You’ve Stopped Caring
One of many ways to show you care is by lending your spouse both of your ears. So ask yourself these questions:
When was the last time you gave each other your undivided attention? When was the last time that any of you were eager to share a story with one another?
If you’ve stopped swapping stories and listening to each other lately, it’s a huge sign that your marriage is over.
2. You’ve Stopped Communicating
Open, honest, and consistent communication is one recipe to a strong and healthy marriage.
There will be ups and downs as you and your husband traverse various roads after you’ve exchanged “I do’s”. And there’s no better way to get through this and still be in love with each other than by constantly communicating with one another.
So if you’ve noticed this crucial element has been missing in your marriage lately, it’s another dreadful sign that it may be doomed.
3. You’ve Stopped Being Intimate
Sex is one of many ways to stay connected to the heart and soul of your husband.
If you can’t remember when the last time you made proper love was, it’s a glaring symptom of a failing marriage.
Notice if you or your husband ignore each other’s needs for affection and sexual intimacy. Notice if you still touch, kiss, hug, and find time to cuddle despite each other’s hectic schedules.
Your answer will tell you if your marriage is already over or if it’s still worth fighting for.
4. You’ve Stopped Compromising
Anyone who’s been married for quite some time can tell you that marriage is a lot of work. There are problems to deal with day in and day out.
You must make sacrifices here and there and agree to compromise from time to time for the marriage to survive and thrive.
If you’ve both stopped doing this, it’s an evident sign that you’ve crossed a boundary in your marriage from which there’s possibly no coming back.
5. You Feel Alone In Dealing With Marital Woes
There’s a quote from Beau Taplin that says “You don’t know distance until you’ve shared your bed with somebody who’s falling out of love with you”.
You don’t know distance until you’ve shared your bed with somebody who’s falling out of love with you”. Beau Taplin
Did that hit a nerve? If you feel alone even when your husband is just a few meters away from you and you feel like you’re the only person finding ways to make your marital woes go away, it’s another tell-tale sign that your marriage is over.
6. There’s A Case of Infidelity
And, sadly, the offender does not show any sign of remorse for it. If your husband has cheated on you and is unwilling to take responsibility for his mistake, then it may be time that you talk about going your own separate ways.
While there are marriages that have survived, and continue to survive cases of infidelity, they only work because the offender is willing to take the first step.
There’s no reason to continue your marriage with a cheating spouse if he’s proud of breaking his vows and won’t work to change things for the better.
7. There’s Emotional Withdrawal
It can be you who’s engaging in stonewalling tactics, only your husband, or both of you.
Whichever is the case, know that emotional withdrawal in marriage is dangerous. It can lead to the person becoming disconnected from the relationship.
Such a response to marital troubles can cause more and worse problems down the line, which can then lead to total disconnection.
Sometimes, you’ll even get to the point of not wanting to work on the marriage anymore. You don’t want to get to that.
8. There’s Loss of Respect from Both Parties
When love is lost, the loss of mutual respect follows. And we all know that respect is a must in all kinds of relationships, not only in marriage.
We know how much pain being disrespected can cause anyone, married or not.
So if you and your husband have more instances of looking down upon each other than holding each other up, or attacking each other instead of being there to protect one another from harm, it’s a definite sign that your marriage is already over.
9. There’s That Silent Wish To Be Single
Not all couples in problematic marriages would readily admit that they’ve wished they were single while they’re still married.
But whether you admit it or not, if you’ve found yourself dreaming of how much life would be better for you if your husband was not in it, it’s an unmistakable sign that you’ve given up on your marriage already.
At this point, intervention from a qualified professional may be needed urgently.
10. There’s Hopelessness In The Air
Despite your desire deep down to make the marriage work after everything that has happened, you can see some signs that your husband doesn’t love you like he used to.
Instead of love and other positive things that accompany it, you feel hopelessness and negativity in the air.
If this is the case, then it is probably time for you to move on. But before you make that life-changing decision, give your spouse and marriage a chance. Or chances, if that’s even possible.
Remember, you didn’t get this far just to give up on your “happily ever after”. It’s worth a fight, as long as you and your husband are fighting together for its survival.
11. Everything Is Your Fault
Another serious marriage killer is playing the blame game. If your husband puts the blame on you for everything that has gone wrong in the relationship and he refuses to take responsibility, it only means that he’s done.
He’s done with you and the relationship you’ve built together if he’s stop seeing you for the flawed person you are and accepting you for it.
If he’s stop wanting to work with you through all the lows and difficulties of your marriage, then it’s him telling you that your marriage is over.
12. He’s Said He Wants Out
If it already came from your husband’s mouth directly, then there’s no doubting that divorce is just around the corner.
Nothing can be more painful than being handed the divorce papers the following day but if he’s already given up, there’s no reason to continue to hold on.
You have to move on, even if you don’t want to. Remember that you have your own life to take care of and if you have kids, you have to continue living for them.
Each day will be harder than the first and you’ll not get through this phase of your life unscathed, but once you do, you’ll be the strongest woman you’ll ever know.
That fact alone should help you make it through each agonizing day.
Your Marriage Is Worth Saving
Filing for divorce is the easy way out. Working through your differences with your spouse is not going to be fun but at the end of the day, you’ve exchanged vows and swore that you’ll be together “til death do us part”.
So no matter how hopeless your situation looks and feels like right now, refuse to give up. Refuse to give up on yourself, your husband, and your marriage. Face all your marital woes head on.
Be there for each other “in richer and in poorer” and “in sickness and in health”.
You’ll not always win against every challenge but it’s never been about winning.
It’s always been about being there for each other, loving each other through the most difficult times, no matter what.
Together, you really can overcome anything!