Ah relationship dynamics, when will they ever cease to challenge, fascinate and frustrate us.
In the joining of any two (or more) individuals a certain dance will begin. We find ourselves fitting into roles and providing functions that enable the relationship to flourish.
Ideally we find a partner that provides us with something we need while we in turn deliver something key for them too. However, we sometimes still ask ourselves “what do we truly need or want?”.
Now more than ever relationship dynamics are being called into question and as a result we see people are more and more openly challenging the status quo. One such relationship that has now been defined is the FLR or Female Led Relationship.
If we consider our Neolithic predecessors a male led relationship was the norm in many cultures. We are all familiar with the term ‘hunter, gatherer’.
The man would hunt for food and provide shelter while the female maintained the home, raised the children and ensured nobody chopped their hand off with that nice new stone axe Daddy left lying around.
FLRs differ in that the female is expected to do the hunting while the male will fulfill the other role. In modern times this means the female of the relationship is the breadwinner and will make many if not most of the decisions. I am of course talking in extremes here.
It is important to note that FLRs exist on a multitude of levels and this is something we will explore further in this article.
The Male Led Relationship
So what exactly is a ‘Female Led Relationship’ I hear you ask.
Firstly, let’s explore the more traditional male led relationship to understand this definition further. In this dynamic the man will often be the one to ‘bring home the bacon’.
They provide financial security and key resources such as food, shelter and safety. The male led relationship is considered more common in the history of relationships and proved a popular formula for many years.
The Female Led Relationship
Female led relationships exist on a number of different levels and vary in intensity.
There are four levels commonly associated with FLRs, it’s important to note these are guidelines and not rules. Often relationships may exist across more than one of these levels at any one time.
The female has some say in the decision making process faced by the couple. They also may take more control in the bedroom which can prove exciting and new for many couples.
The female takes control over many decisions in the relationship and proves the more dominant of the two in the bedroom as well. Often at level 2 the male will begin to take care of household chores.
In this level the female’s happiness and satisfaction is the priority. They are the person the relationship revolves around. The male will not make any important decisions without consulting the approval of the female.
At the highest level of a FLR the male serves the female’s every whim and need. This encompasses the bedroom, living situation and location, career decisions, and how the man presents himself.
As you can see in some cases, the FLR can be considered more of an equality based dynamic that provides both sexes with the same amount of freedom and responsibilities.
In its strongest form the female led relationship flips the MLR dynamic on its metaphorical head.
The female is expected to provide the household income and endeavors to have a stable successful career to take care of her family. The male is expected to provide a supportive role for the female and takes care of their home.
Why Woman Enjoy FLRs
The benefits of the FLR for women are quite obvious and numerous:
- The woman is extremely empowered in this relationship and has the freedom to live her life exactly as she chooses.
- She does not have to consult others when deciding where she will live, when or if she will have a family. She is supported through her relationship to achieve her goals.
- A man with a more dominant personality may feel smothered or unsatisfied in a MLR.
- It enables women that excel in decision making and control to bring those strengths forward in their relationship.
Why Men Enjoy FLRs
While it may be argued the FLR restricts the freedom of a male, some may argue that they actually experience more freedom in this dynamic.
- Certain people may find their strengths are more visible when providing a supportive role in the relationship.
- When freed from the weight of making the call on relationship problems or decisions they may experience a more relaxed and happy lifestyle.
- This type of relationship also encourages males to express their emotional and tender side, a side that is often overlooked in society. Mental health issues such as anxiety and depression among men are often linked to a lack of freedom to express emotions honestly. This proves a strong argument for the benefits in this type of relationship.
How to Find Your FLR
If this sounds like the relationship type for you but you worry it will be difficult to find, have no fear lady leader! There are numerous dating websites available for you to use:
- She Makes the Rules
- Plenty of Fish
- Loving FLR
Individuals looking for this type of relationship are encouraged to demonstrate how decisive and dominant they like to be in their profiles to attract the beta male they are looking for.
Some characteristics associated with females who enjoy an FLR are:
- Likes to take charge
- Strong willed
It’s All About Balance
The important thing to note here is that as we are all individuals, little snowflakes, relationships are too. While some may like to follow a more “by the book” formula, it is important to maintain open and judgment free communication while duos figure out exactly how to share their responsibilities.
If both parties ensure the other is happy and fulfilled by the dynamic at play then FLRs can be a highly positive experience. FLRs have also enabled couples to explore exciting and new experiences in the bedroom that once remained somewhat taboo, a tick on anyone’s sensuality checklist.