Ah relationship dynamics, when will they ever cease to challenge, fascinate and frustrate us.
In the joining of any two (or more) individuals a certain dance will begin. We find ourselves fitting into roles and providing functions that enable the relationship to flourish.
Ideally, we find a partner that provides us with something we need while we in turn deliver something key for them too. However, we sometimes still ask ourselves “what do we truly need or want?”.
Now more than ever relationship dynamics are being called into question and as a result, we see people are more and more openly challenging the status quo.
One such relationship that has now been defined is the ‘FLR’ or Female Led Relationship, and it has different levels to it
If we consider our Neolithic predecessors a male-led relationship was the norm in many cultures. We are all familiar with the term ‘hunter, gatherer’.
The man would hunt for food and provide shelter while the female maintained the home, raised the children and ensured nobody chopped their hand off with that nice new stone axe Daddy left lying around.
FLRs differ in that the female is expected to do the hunting while the male will fulfill the other role. In modern times this means the female of the relationship is the breadwinner and will make many if not most of the decisions. I am of course talking in extremes here.
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There many variations, types, dynamics, and levels to female-led relationships we’ll explore further in this article.
The Male Led Relationship
So what exactly is a ‘Female Led Relationship’ and what are the levels of such a relationship, I hear you ask.
Firstly, let’s explore the more traditional male-led relationship to understand this definition further. In this dynamic, the man will often be the one to ‘bring home the bacon’.
They provide financial security and key resources such as food, shelter and safety. The male-led relationship is considered more common in the history of relationships and proved a popular formula for many years.
The Female Led Relationship Levels
Female-led relationships exist on a number of different levels and vary in intensity.
There are four levels commonly associated with FLRs, it’s important to note these are guidelines and not rules. Often relationships may exist across more than one of these levels at any one time.
Level 1: Low-level control
The female has some say in the decision-making process faced by the couple. They also may take more control in the bedroom which can prove exciting and new for many couples.
Level 2: Moderate-level control
The female enjoys being the leader of the relationship from time to time and has a good sense of ruling her man. She gets a good boost of confidence and overall morale in the relationship.
The man also enjoys the assertive attitude of his woman. At this level, the woman usually takes control over many day-to-day decisions in the relationship and proves the more dominant of the two in the bedroom as well. The woman at this stage usually sets her own guidelines and personal boundaries. Often at level 2 the male will take up more of the housework and begin to take care of household chores.
Level 3: A Defined control
In this level, the female’s happiness and satisfaction are the priority. She makes most decisions and takes on male roles as well. She is the person the relationship “revolves around”.
The guy will not make any important decisions without consulting and having her approval.
Level 4: Extreme-level of control
At the highest level of a FLR, the male serves the female’s every whim and need. This encompasses the bedroom, living situation and location, career decisions, and how the man presents himself.
As you can see in some cases, the FLR can be considered more of an equality-based dynamic that provides both sexes with the same amount of freedom and responsibilities.
In its strongest form, the female-led relationship flips the MLR dynamic on its metaphorical head.
The female is expected to provide the household income and endeavors to have a stable successful career to take care of her family. The male is expected to provide a supportive role for the female and takes care of their home.
Rules Of Female-Led Relationships
These are some of the rules that better help define and set a female-led relationship.
- The woman is usually the breadwinner and therefore makes most of the household’s financial decisions. The man trusts his partner to take care of these things.
- Both the man and the woman agree to distribute household chores, and the man agrees to do housework such as: laundry, cleaning, cooking, taking care of the kids, etc.
- The woman takes lead in decision-making regarding dates, outings and social gatherings.
- The woman motivates with certain authority and “pushes” her man to improve himself. E.g. – Getting a better job, quit smoking, communicate better, and other things of that nature.
- Last but not least, The female makes most of the household’s biggest decisions. Whether it be where they’ll live, go on vacation, send the kids to school… Of course, the man shares his opinion and the woman takes it into account, but usually, she will make the final call.
Why Women Enjoy Female-Led Relationships
There are many reasons and perks for women who lead their relationships.
- The woman is extremely empowered in this relationship and has the freedom to live her life exactly as she chooses. They can control the biggest aspects of a shared life – Managing finance,
- the household, social life, etc.
- She does not have to consult others when deciding where she will live, when or if she will have a family. She is supported by her relationship.
- A man with a less dominant personality may feel smothered or unsatisfied in a MLR.
In a female-led relationship, the women can also decide to change different aspects of her man, and how he’ll be, as she sees fit. - Men who agree to be part of female-led relationships don’t mind being submissive, they might love their woman even more! Since they aren’t the ones leading the relationship, they can count on their woman to take care of things that usually burden them in male-led relationships.
- It enables women that excel in decision making and control to bring those strengths forward in their relationship.
- There are few power struggles in this type of relationship so there is less unnecessary stress and tension.
Why Men Enjoy Female Led Relationships
While it may be argued the FLR restricts the freedom of men, Some may argue that they actually experience more of it in this relationship dynamic. Men who are expected to and used to be more controlling and at times aggressive (unwanted behavior!), give that control up for their female partner.
- Certain people may find their strengths are more visible when providing a supportive role in the relationship.
- Men can enjoy a more relaxed and peaceful atmosphere at home since there are fewer power struggles and tension between the couple.
- When freed from the weight of making the call on relationship problems or decisions they may experience a more relaxed and happy lifestyle.
- This type of relationship also encourages males to express their emotional and tender side, a side that is often overlooked in society. Mental health issues such as anxiety and depression among men are often linked to a lack of freedom to express emotions honestly. This proves a strong argument for the benefits of this type of relationship.
How to Find Your FLR
If this sounds like the relationship type for you but you worry it will be difficult to find, have no fear lady leader! There are numerous dating websites available for you to use:
- She Makes the Rules
- Plenty of Fish
- Loving FLR
Individuals looking for this type of relationship are encouraged to demonstrate how decisive and dominant they like to be in their profiles to attract the beta male they are looking for.
Some characteristics associated with females who enjoy an FLR are:
- Likes to take charge
- Decisive
- Strong-willed
- Responsible
- Dominant
It’s All About Balance
The important thing to note here is that as we are all individuals, little snowflakes, relationships are too. While some may like to follow a more “by the book” formula, it is important to maintain open and judgment-free communication while duos figure out exactly how to share their responsibilities.
If both parties ensure the other is happy and fulfilled by the dynamic at play then FLRs can be a highly positive experience. FLRs have also enabled couples to explore new and exciting experiences in the bedroom that once remained somewhat taboo, a tick on anyone’s sensuality checklist.
