35 And Single? Stop Freaking Out And Do This - Romancoholic

35 And Single? Stop Freaking Out And Do This

35 year old woman stressed

Are you the last one in your friend circle who is still single? Not too long ago you used to love being the single one. For most of your 20s, the single-life was a dream come true. Now you’re at 35 and single life seems a little bleak.

Once you hit your 30s, life started to change. It's like suddenly all the good guys disappeared.

The men you really like are already committed, and you’d rather not talk about the ones that are available. 

Sometimes you despair and wonder whether you're destined to remain single forever. 

But wait, slow down, and don’t panic.

While you might have to weave your way through some weird guys online, there are still be a bunch of men out there just waiting for you.

Age Is Truly Just a Number

Age and the potential of finding happiness don’t move in opposite directions. Nobody ever said you have to remain sad and lonely as you get older.

If you treat every day like new, accept reality, and enjoy the experience of finding your match, you will definitely find him. Even though in your worst mood you might think every eligible bachelor is gone, that’s not true either. 

Many highly successful men find themselves in their 30s with no meaningful relationship either. One of them could be at the same bar as you on Friday night. Maybe he’s rich and successful, praying to find someone to reach out to. Maybe that someone is you.

Don't Be Someone You're Not

Desperation shows itself in many ways. Sometimes you find yourself in a position where you’d rather be what someone wants than be yourself because you’re scared he might not like you otherwise. 

Never try being someone you’re not. While it might seem to work in the moment, such a compromise spells danger for the future. 

Life is better when you’re being yourself. Trying to be someone else is pointless. You’ll never maintain this false image. And, more importantly, a man will like you for being who you are.

Know What You Want, but Don’t be Too Picky

Back when you were 21, you noticed a million turn-offs in men. Some had massive noses while others were already balding. 

At 35, you must accept the reality – your pool of choices in the market is shrinking, and you might be better off defining the more important traits you’re looking for.

This doesn’t mean you go for any and every guy that comes your way. Make sure you know what you are looking for in a man but do drop your guard just a little bit more.

Allow a few more men to pass your first tests and maybe they’ll surprise you.

Don't Take Advice from Older Relatives

Attending family functions in your 30s can be overwhelming. At one end, you might see everything you don’t want from your marriage, while tons of relatives make a point of reminding you that you’re 35 and single. 

While many of them don’t even know you, they seem to have every idea about your dating life and how to fix it.

Some might even suggest some single men they know. While it is wise to listen to this advice, only you decide what makes sense for you unique situation.

Effort Pays Off, So Get Out There

One thing that increases the chances of finding a guy is being present at social situations where you will rub shoulders with the opposite sex. 

If your Friday night consists of your dog, your couch, Netflix, and a bottle of wine, the likelihood decreases drastically. 

It’s time that you left home and went out to make others know you’re single. Having the same set of married friends might not help either.

If you like jazz, head out to a late-night jazz bar. What’s more, if you find a man there, you’ve already found one thing in common. 

Dating Apps, Anyone?

Now is not the time to be judgmental. It is the time, however, to try multiple approaches. You never know what might work out. It’s time to sign up for some online dating.

You might have to swipe through a lot of random requests, but all you need is one match. 

Dating apps are also cool because they help filter out the time-wasters and cut to the chase. 

If you find it exhausting to go out and mingle with scores of men all the time, find a match and meet him – plain and simple. 

You know where this is going, and maybe one meeting will lead to another.

Use Your Experience

One thing you have is an abundance of experience. Use it well. 

Your own relationships as well as your friends’ would have taught you to read men and their intentions well. Use that to your advantage. 

You might be able to cut through the crowd and make your decision really quickly when all the signs point in one direction. 

What’s important is to be open to all sorts of men, lowering your guard to let them express themselves and then making a decision based on your experience. 

Stop Overthinking It

Finally, the more you stress about the fact that you’re single, the more it affects your interactions and body language. 

If you’re looking for the right man every time you step out of the house, you’re likely to be disappointed. Or if things are to genuinely work out with someone, they will. And if they’re not, someone else will come along.

Such an approach assures that you don’t overthink your situation. Even if there is a man in your life, thinking about the next step all the time gets in the way of smooth sailing.

Just make sure you’re confident, true to yourself and go with the flow. Eventually, something is bound to work out.

About the author

Regina Adamson

Aspiring world traveler. Dog AND cat lover. Don't judge me... Trying (hard) to be the change that I want to see in the world. Join me on my journey.