10 Things To NOT Feel Guilty About During a Breakup

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Breakups are the worst. Sometimes we might feel like breaking up was the wrong choice and you start feeling really bad for all kinds of reasons.  

Can’t stop feeling guilty about breaking up with your partner?
Are people blaming you for breaking up with your partner?
Do you feel at fault and responsible for the end of your relationship? 

People often feel guilty when they break up with someone, But you shouldn’t feel guilty for making the right decision for yourself. 

Guilt implies you did something wrong. It’s not a crime to do what’s best for you. You should never let feelings of guilt get in the way of you being free. Sadness, anger, regret and all those kinds of feelings are normal and are a healthy part of breakups. 

looking out when it's raining outside

Just to be clear, this is not the same as getting over being cheated.
That’s not you choosing to break up, that’s him betraying your trust.

In breakups, guilt can become a real problem. It can prevent you from making good decisions in the future. It can make you way more unhappy than you need to be, and can keep you trapped in a prison of your and other people’s opinions.  It’s the worst.

So ease your guilty conscience for a second and read this list of things you shouldn’t feel guilty about. 

Because you don’t need to feel guilty, and deep down, you know it.


1. Breaking up with your partner

Breaking up with your partner sucks, especially if they didn’t do anything wrong and are awesome. No matter how great they are, they may still not be a right fit for you.
You have every right to end a relationship without feeling guilty. 

Guilt implies you did something wrong. It’s okay to be upset for a while, but it’s better to focus on the fact that you did what was best for you and keep looking ahead. 

Letting go of someone you love is difficult; But you’re not going to stay sad forever so it’s best to start the healing process now.

2. Not having a reason to break up

It’s okay to break up with someone just because you want to. The reason that you just want to break up should be enough for you to walk out of that relationship. You do not owe anyone an explanation, You live your life for you

You don’t have to justify to your ex that you did not want to be in that relationship anymore. The decision is yours. Don’t feel guilty about not wanting to be in a relationship.

3. Not wanting to be friends after a breakup

People who are friends with their exes are a bit weird to me (that’s just me).
No reason feeling guilty about wanting that separation and giving yourself time to heal. Sometimes cutting ties can be the best and healthiest thing you can do for yourself. 

And don’t feel guilty if you like being friends with your exes either. That’s beautiful and if it works for you then it’s the right thing to do.

phone laying screen side down on the table

4. Wanting your stuff back

You feel bad about taking back your things? WHY?  It’s your property, It belongs to you, You are allowed to take it back. 

It could be an uncomfortable situation, sure, but you shouldn’t feel guilty for wanting to have your stuff back. Even if your ex might get upset, if it’s yours, then you have a right to take it back because you are not together anymore

5. Blocking them on social media

After a relationship ends, you gotta do what you gotta do, move on, get over the heartbreak. Sometimes that means blocking your ex on social media, or locking down your accounts so your ex can’t stalk you. 

Guilt will make you think that you are being mean, but you’re not. It’s about creating a healthy boundary that will support you in healing. Even if other people don’t agree with your choices, you must do things that are necessary for your own happiness.

6. Your ex is not taking break up well

If you break up with someone and they’re devastated, yeah, that’s hard, because you had a bond with that person. Breaking someone’s heart is never easy. But you’re responsible for your own feelings; not theirs. 

Road signs pointing at opposite directions

You can’t be held responsible for their feelings. If it’s been weeks after your breakup and you find out they’re not taking it well, and they’re not going to work or leaving the house…  You’re not responsible for saving them, no matter how bad you feel. 

Harsh, I know. But it won’t make it easier for any of you if you pull yourself into that situation.

7. Hurting your partner’s feelings

Breakups hurt. Period. Experiencing some kind of heartbreak in our lives is part of the journey. You can’t stay with someone because you don’t want to hurt their feelings or delay doing what you need to do because you feel guilty about hurting them. Feelings are going to get hurt and they’ll hurt even more if you delay the breakup.

8. Upsetting their family

Losing awesome dating-in-laws and mutual friends after breakups sucks, but that’s just how it goes. You can’t feel guilty about it. It’s just part of the process. You can feel sad about it, but don’t feel guilty about it. You’re not trying to hurt them on purpose. 

You’re thinking about your happiness and there is nothing wrong with that. Besides, it’s not written anywhere that you can’t maintain a relationship with them after the breakup if everyone is okay with it.

If that’s the case for you, and you want to keep communication open, here’s what you gotta do after a breakup.

9. How your friends and family will feel

Breakups are hard enough as it is. It doesn’t help getting caught up in guilt over how every single person who is in your life will feel after you break up. Breakups are hard. Focus on your own feelings and don’t complicate things any more than they already are.

10. Moving on

It is none of your ex’s concern how long or short a time it takes for you to be over your relationship and get into a new one. They’re entitled to feel however they want about it, but you’re not obligated to share in those feelings.

If you meet someone the day after you end a long relationship, and you decide to go out on a date, you do not have to feel guilty about that. You don’t have to respect your ex’s feelings by waiting for a particular amount of time before seeing someone else.

Doing what you need to do for your happiness will be much easier once you realize you don’t have to feel guilty about doing what you see as right for you!

Woman walking down a single beautiful valley trail on mountain landscape